Alright, so this is really long, and I’m sorry, but I really just had to get my two-cents in here. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I really relate to this song, ergo, I feel it’s about the struggle with BPD. Here’s why:
[Tl;dr: I feel like Jason sort of describes having BPD and Vic is the friend or family member trying to save Jason from killing himself.]
So, the song starts out with Jason saying, “Don't you say you had a part of it. I guess we'll never know. Oh would you say that had a part of it. Well I guess we'll never know.” With BPD, we over analyze everything (for example, me with this song), get over offended, worry too much over what people think of us, etc. People without BPD usually feel like it’s their fault they offended or upset someone with it. We are (usually) very suicidal people, so it doesn’t take much to push us over the depression bridge. Jason is sort of saying, “It isn’t your fault I’m suicidal. I mean, sure you upset me, but I’m fucked up. So in a way you didn’t, but you still did. It’s complicated. ‘I guess we’ll never know.’”
“Constant recovery. I see you choke and it takes my breath away.” This shows Vic watching, say, Jason struggle with BPD. He’s watching him slowly kill himself, and he knows there’s nothing he can do to save him. It’s hard to watch. Especially since ‘Jason’ is in an uphill battle with himself. He’s always trying to get better, but he’s really going nowhere. There’s always relapses and all that fun stuff.
“When all is good, we close our eyes.” Meaning, you try to enjoy it for a second and take it for granted that for once, you don’t want to slip your own throat, while hoping you stay that way.
“They all accept the lie.” This could be either/or. One, being everyone accepts the, “I’m okay,” lie that every depressed person portrays rather well. Two, being the, “Oh, I just have Bipolar Disorder,” lie which most people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder usually say, just because we feel our disorder is sort of bullshit, and easy to laugh at, and frankly just afraid of judgement. (Trust me.)
“So bury what you want outside.” Saying, lay everything out on the table; get rid of all the shit that is going on inside your head. Just let it all out. Stop suppressing it. You aren’t doing anyone any favors.
“Brother, promise you won't leave it.” Is ‘Jason’s desperate reassurance of ‘Vic’s trust; don’t leave me. I need you to be my friend. I trust you. Don’t walk away from me, please. (With BPD, we are very afraid – paranoid even – of people leaving us, especially unexpectedly.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again.” After ‘Jason’ recovers from self-harm, ‘Vic’ watches as he continues degrading inside and wanting to hurt himself, or finally kill himself.
“But I'll never wander, my friend.” Meaning, I’d be happier dead. (No more suffering. No more ‘wandering’, looking for a better way out.)
“Well, somebody believed in this suicide.” Self-explanatory. (People with BPD usually have attempted suicide once, and a large amount have actually succeeded.)
“Am I the only one that thinks that you should stay alive? Oh, I became the train as you backed up on the ropes, to arm yourself and lie.” Basically the friend struggling, begging for ‘Jason’ to hang on.
“So, I scream, ‘Mayday. I'm in trouble. Send somebody on the double.’” We need someone to pull us out of this depression, because clearly, we can’t do this alone.
“Scratching at the floor inside my mind” Having BPD, you lose your mind a little. You have so many useless emotions flying around, and the only one standing out is, you guessed it, depression. Almost like a cat scratching your brand new furniture. It’s really damn annoying and unnerving.
“They all accept the lie.” (Refer to paragraph 5)
“So bury what you want outside.” (Refer to paragraph 6.)
“Brother, please don't be afraid of,” Friends and loved ones tend to try to distance themselves from us, because we’re depressing and hard to be around. Though, now that I think about it, it’s more of a beg for accepting suicide, rather the frantic, “OMG NO BB PLZ STEI ALIV IT GITS BETTER,” horse shit.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again. But I'll never wander, my friend.” (Refer to paragraph 7.)
“I let you down, and started to run. Never meant to be your pain. What have I become?” Loved ones tend to feel like they’ve let us down, and as previously mentioned, distance themselves.
“Show me, show me the way back. Show me the way back now.” Self-explanatory; plead for help.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again. But I'll never wander, my friend. No, I'll never wander again.” (Refer to paragraph 7.)
“Not what I want. Not what I need. Can I just have one more day? Just to make it through the day.” ‘Jason’ sort of begs ‘Vic’ to let him at least self-harm, because it makes it easier to “get through the day.”
“You're tangled in the great escape.” ‘Great escape’ = suicide.
“I never meant to hurt nobody, no no, yeah. I never meant to hurt you, no no no no. I only meant to do this to myself, to myself, to myself. Great escape. I was lost, yeah. Baby, I was lost, yeah.” Basically what every self-harmer says; I’m only doing this to myself. It’s easy to get lost in the ‘great escape’ of self-harm and suicide. Even drugs. Any addiction at that. And it is the hardest thing to kick. It’s too easy to just slip deeper and deeper into it. After all, you are just harming yourself, aren’t you? (Selfishly disregards loved ones’ feelings.)
Alright, so this is really long, and I’m sorry, but I really just had to get my two-cents in here. I have Borderline Personality Disorder, and I really relate to this song, ergo, I feel it’s about the struggle with BPD. Here’s why:
[Tl;dr: I feel like Jason sort of describes having BPD and Vic is the friend or family member trying to save Jason from killing himself.]
So, the song starts out with Jason saying, “Don't you say you had a part of it. I guess we'll never know. Oh would you say that had a part of it. Well I guess we'll never know.” With BPD, we over analyze everything (for example, me with this song), get over offended, worry too much over what people think of us, etc. People without BPD usually feel like it’s their fault they offended or upset someone with it. We are (usually) very suicidal people, so it doesn’t take much to push us over the depression bridge. Jason is sort of saying, “It isn’t your fault I’m suicidal. I mean, sure you upset me, but I’m fucked up. So in a way you didn’t, but you still did. It’s complicated. ‘I guess we’ll never know.’”
“Constant recovery. I see you choke and it takes my breath away.” This shows Vic watching, say, Jason struggle with BPD. He’s watching him slowly kill himself, and he knows there’s nothing he can do to save him. It’s hard to watch. Especially since ‘Jason’ is in an uphill battle with himself. He’s always trying to get better, but he’s really going nowhere. There’s always relapses and all that fun stuff.
“When all is good, we close our eyes.” Meaning, you try to enjoy it for a second and take it for granted that for once, you don’t want to slip your own throat, while hoping you stay that way. “They all accept the lie.” This could be either/or. One, being everyone accepts the, “I’m okay,” lie that every depressed person portrays rather well. Two, being the, “Oh, I just have Bipolar Disorder,” lie which most people suffering from Borderline Personality Disorder usually say, just because we feel our disorder is sort of bullshit, and easy to laugh at, and frankly just afraid of judgement. (Trust me.)
“So bury what you want outside.” Saying, lay everything out on the table; get rid of all the shit that is going on inside your head. Just let it all out. Stop suppressing it. You aren’t doing anyone any favors. “Brother, promise you won't leave it.” Is ‘Jason’s desperate reassurance of ‘Vic’s trust; don’t leave me. I need you to be my friend. I trust you. Don’t walk away from me, please. (With BPD, we are very afraid – paranoid even – of people leaving us, especially unexpectedly.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again.” After ‘Jason’ recovers from self-harm, ‘Vic’ watches as he continues degrading inside and wanting to hurt himself, or finally kill himself. “But I'll never wander, my friend.” Meaning, I’d be happier dead. (No more suffering. No more ‘wandering’, looking for a better way out.)
“Well, somebody believed in this suicide.” Self-explanatory. (People with BPD usually have attempted suicide once, and a large amount have actually succeeded.) “Am I the only one that thinks that you should stay alive? Oh, I became the train as you backed up on the ropes, to arm yourself and lie.” Basically the friend struggling, begging for ‘Jason’ to hang on.
“So, I scream, ‘Mayday. I'm in trouble. Send somebody on the double.’” We need someone to pull us out of this depression, because clearly, we can’t do this alone.
“Scratching at the floor inside my mind” Having BPD, you lose your mind a little. You have so many useless emotions flying around, and the only one standing out is, you guessed it, depression. Almost like a cat scratching your brand new furniture. It’s really damn annoying and unnerving. “They all accept the lie.” (Refer to paragraph 5)
“So bury what you want outside.” (Refer to paragraph 6.) “Brother, please don't be afraid of,” Friends and loved ones tend to try to distance themselves from us, because we’re depressing and hard to be around. Though, now that I think about it, it’s more of a beg for accepting suicide, rather the frantic, “OMG NO BB PLZ STEI ALIV IT GITS BETTER,” horse shit.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again. But I'll never wander, my friend.” (Refer to paragraph 7.)
“I let you down, and started to run. Never meant to be your pain. What have I become?” Loved ones tend to feel like they’ve let us down, and as previously mentioned, distance themselves.
“Show me, show me the way back. Show me the way back now.” Self-explanatory; plead for help.
“I know you're tortured within. Your eyes look hungry again. But I'll never wander, my friend. No, I'll never wander again.” (Refer to paragraph 7.)
“Not what I want. Not what I need. Can I just have one more day? Just to make it through the day.” ‘Jason’ sort of begs ‘Vic’ to let him at least self-harm, because it makes it easier to “get through the day.” “You're tangled in the great escape.” ‘Great escape’ = suicide.
“I never meant to hurt nobody, no no, yeah. I never meant to hurt you, no no no no. I only meant to do this to myself, to myself, to myself. Great escape. I was lost, yeah. Baby, I was lost, yeah.” Basically what every self-harmer says; I’m only doing this to myself. It’s easy to get lost in the ‘great escape’ of self-harm and suicide. Even drugs. Any addiction at that. And it is the hardest thing to kick. It’s too easy to just slip deeper and deeper into it. After all, you are just harming yourself, aren’t you? (Selfishly disregards loved ones’ feelings.)