I think this song speaks about grief and depression. From interviews with Neko Case about what she was going through before she created this album. She talks about all the people in her life she lost, but how at the time, she didn't really grieve until finally it hit her all at once, and she spent a long time struggling with grief and depression. (As a side note, she also talks about how some songs like "Where Did I Leave That Fire" are influenced by industrial music which was the only thing she could stand to listen to during that time)
Anyway, this is how I interpret her lyrics & what they mean to me...
"My brain makes drugs to keep me slow"...this describes the feeling of depression and grief, feeling like your mind and willpower have slowed to the point of stopping. You're just numb, stationary, and can't think straight. You know something is wrong, that your brain is doing something to you, and you hope that the effects will wear off.
"But now not even the masons know, What drug will keep night from coming"...I haven't researched about the Freemasons, but it may be a reference to them. Or, masons may mean therapists, doctors who try to help, but don't know what drugs to prescribe to keep night (the grief and depression) from coming.
"There are so many tools that are made from my hands But the tide smashes all my best laid plans to sand"...you know there are so many things you could and should be doing, but it feels so futile. You don't have the energy to face everyday challenges, and nothing seems to work out.
"But I've revenged myself, all over myself, there’s nothing you can say to me"...you are angry at yourself and beat yourself up over being depressed, and other people are upset with you too, but it doesn't change it. Nothing anyone says has any effect. This could even speak to self-harm, cutting, and suicidal feelings.
"You never held it at the right angle"...an appeal to other people who don't understand to see it from your point of view, and also to yourself to see that the depression is keeping you from seeing things clearly.
"Catch a falling star, but wash your hands of it,Catch a falling star, because you can’t own it"...trying to grasp onto happiness,motivation,desire, or meaning, but it slips away so easily, realizing it isn't lasting. So reach for it, but it's temporary. It's almost saying why even try.
"Did it poison my food, is it ‘cause I’m a girl? If I puked up some sonnets, would you call me a miracle?"...Neko feels like the grief and depression are poisoning her meanwhile people talk saying she's a delicate girl dealing with emotions, and hopefully she'll get over it and "puke up" some more songs for them making a miraculous recovery. She feels like other people just see her as a pretty voice and expect her to "puke up" songs for their enjoyment and for them to make money off of.
"I’m gonna go where my urge leads no more"...the decision to carry on the motions of daily life even though their is no desire to do so anymore.
"Swallowed waist deep in the gore of the forest, Arboreal feast, let it finish me please"....being swallowed in the depths and darkness of grief, and just surrendering, letting it finish hollowing you out and eating you away.
I think this song speaks about grief and depression. From interviews with Neko Case about what she was going through before she created this album. She talks about all the people in her life she lost, but how at the time, she didn't really grieve until finally it hit her all at once, and she spent a long time struggling with grief and depression. (As a side note, she also talks about how some songs like "Where Did I Leave That Fire" are influenced by industrial music which was the only thing she could stand to listen to during that time)
Anyway, this is how I interpret her lyrics & what they mean to me...
"My brain makes drugs to keep me slow"...this describes the feeling of depression and grief, feeling like your mind and willpower have slowed to the point of stopping. You're just numb, stationary, and can't think straight. You know something is wrong, that your brain is doing something to you, and you hope that the effects will wear off.
"But now not even the masons know, What drug will keep night from coming"...I haven't researched about the Freemasons, but it may be a reference to them. Or, masons may mean therapists, doctors who try to help, but don't know what drugs to prescribe to keep night (the grief and depression) from coming.
"There are so many tools that are made from my hands But the tide smashes all my best laid plans to sand"...you know there are so many things you could and should be doing, but it feels so futile. You don't have the energy to face everyday challenges, and nothing seems to work out.
"But I've revenged myself, all over myself, there’s nothing you can say to me"...you are angry at yourself and beat yourself up over being depressed, and other people are upset with you too, but it doesn't change it. Nothing anyone says has any effect. This could even speak to self-harm, cutting, and suicidal feelings.
"You never held it at the right angle"...an appeal to other people who don't understand to see it from your point of view, and also to yourself to see that the depression is keeping you from seeing things clearly.
"Catch a falling star, but wash your hands of it,Catch a falling star, because you can’t own it"...trying to grasp onto happiness,motivation,desire, or meaning, but it slips away so easily, realizing it isn't lasting. So reach for it, but it's temporary. It's almost saying why even try.
"Did it poison my food, is it ‘cause I’m a girl? If I puked up some sonnets, would you call me a miracle?"...Neko feels like the grief and depression are poisoning her meanwhile people talk saying she's a delicate girl dealing with emotions, and hopefully she'll get over it and "puke up" some more songs for them making a miraculous recovery. She feels like other people just see her as a pretty voice and expect her to "puke up" songs for their enjoyment and for them to make money off of.
"I’m gonna go where my urge leads no more"...the decision to carry on the motions of daily life even though their is no desire to do so anymore.
"Swallowed waist deep in the gore of the forest, Arboreal feast, let it finish me please"....being swallowed in the depths and darkness of grief, and just surrendering, letting it finish hollowing you out and eating you away.