Yikes! Most of the interpretations/meanings on here don't do the song justice. I know I won't either but I wan't clarify somethings! Phil is pretty open about the context of most of his songs from this period, specifically this album. Perhaps its unjust to call this a breakup album since it undermines a lot of the themes, but this song is very much about a breakup.
I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong
Really all I felt was falsely strong
I held on tight and closed my eyes
It was dumb I had no sense of your size
Phil thought he understood the person he was in love with, but he didn't. Trite, but there's more.
Going off of other songs he wrote around this time, he really wanted to make it work in his head. He wanted so badly to believe his own idealizations and keep romanticizing despite being aware of the relationship not working. He kept his eyes shut and held onto her tightly.
It was dumb to hold so tight
But last night
On the birthday in the kitchen
My grip was loose my eyes were open
He realizes now that holding onto the toxic relationship with eyes shut was not to best choice...it was dumb in retrospect. But one night he did open his eyes and he stopped gripping onto her to see her for what she really was.
I felt your shape and heard you breathing
I felt the rise and fall of your chest
I felt your fall
Your winter snows
Your gusty blow
Your lava flow
I felt it all
Your starry night
Your lack of light
With limp arms I can feel most of you
With his eyes open, and a loose grip, he saw her for her actual shape. Here he uses beautifully romantic, and heartbreaking imagery to describe what he saw. In the end he saw a lack of light in her. With his lose, limp arms he can actually see what's in front of him.
I hung around your neck independently
And my loss was overwhelmed
By this new depth I don’t think I ever felt
He held onto her still. Independently implies that maybe at this point she might have left him, but he's still attached...even if it's only loosely. He's realizing now that he lost someone he loves and also this beautiful idea of them.
But I don’t know
The nights are cold
And I remember warmth
I could have sworn I wasn’t alone
But now, was he wrong about her? He doesn't know, and can't tell, but what he does know is that nights are cold without her. In the end, he still swears to having known her and been with her, and not just alone with an idealized version of her.
The other longer versions of this song just add the heartbreak even more because they intensify how painful it is to part ways with someone physically and emotionally.
There's no more hugging in the kitchen,
No more pats on the back in the hall.
No more chest on breasty chest behind the curtain.
No more lip on nape of neck in shower stall.
No more cosy gardens or craving curvy hips on my belly.
I'm giving up so I can be free from you.
I'm paying fees so I can sever ties from you.
Let craving call and beg and bawl, and face it tall.
Let my soft skin have more sweet soft air on me.
Let boulders drown.
Yikes! Most of the interpretations/meanings on here don't do the song justice. I know I won't either but I wan't clarify somethings! Phil is pretty open about the context of most of his songs from this period, specifically this album. Perhaps its unjust to call this a breakup album since it undermines a lot of the themes, but this song is very much about a breakup.
I thought I felt your shape but I was wrong Really all I felt was falsely strong I held on tight and closed my eyes It was dumb I had no sense of your size
Phil thought he understood the person he was in love with, but he didn't. Trite, but there's more.
Going off of other songs he wrote around this time, he really wanted to make it work in his head. He wanted so badly to believe his own idealizations and keep romanticizing despite being aware of the relationship not working. He kept his eyes shut and held onto her tightly.
It was dumb to hold so tight But last night On the birthday in the kitchen My grip was loose my eyes were open
He realizes now that holding onto the toxic relationship with eyes shut was not to best choice...it was dumb in retrospect. But one night he did open his eyes and he stopped gripping onto her to see her for what she really was.
I felt your shape and heard you breathing I felt the rise and fall of your chest I felt your fall Your winter snows Your gusty blow Your lava flow I felt it all Your starry night Your lack of light With limp arms I can feel most of you
With his eyes open, and a loose grip, he saw her for her actual shape. Here he uses beautifully romantic, and heartbreaking imagery to describe what he saw. In the end he saw a lack of light in her. With his lose, limp arms he can actually see what's in front of him.
I hung around your neck independently And my loss was overwhelmed By this new depth I don’t think I ever felt
He held onto her still. Independently implies that maybe at this point she might have left him, but he's still attached...even if it's only loosely. He's realizing now that he lost someone he loves and also this beautiful idea of them.
But I don’t know The nights are cold And I remember warmth I could have sworn I wasn’t alone
But now, was he wrong about her? He doesn't know, and can't tell, but what he does know is that nights are cold without her. In the end, he still swears to having known her and been with her, and not just alone with an idealized version of her.
The other longer versions of this song just add the heartbreak even more because they intensify how painful it is to part ways with someone physically and emotionally.
There's no more hugging in the kitchen, No more pats on the back in the hall. No more chest on breasty chest behind the curtain. No more lip on nape of neck in shower stall. No more cosy gardens or craving curvy hips on my belly. I'm giving up so I can be free from you. I'm paying fees so I can sever ties from you. Let craving call and beg and bawl, and face it tall. Let my soft skin have more sweet soft air on me. Let boulders drown.