A father considering leaving (or committing suicide.) The narrator (the father) sounds depressed and in some bad situation. Can't get his life under control; "could not find the handle."
However, it appears his young son's innocence made him reconsider. At least at that time. The final couple of lines make it unclear. "I'm gonna leave you, I don't want to lead you on." Maybe he's just saying he will die eventually, but not tonight. Maybe he thinks he'll have to "leave" eventually anyways, but he'll stay for now.
A father considering leaving (or committing suicide.) The narrator (the father) sounds depressed and in some bad situation. Can't get his life under control; "could not find the handle."
However, it appears his young son's innocence made him reconsider. At least at that time. The final couple of lines make it unclear. "I'm gonna leave you, I don't want to lead you on." Maybe he's just saying he will die eventually, but not tonight. Maybe he thinks he'll have to "leave" eventually anyways, but he'll stay for now.