This is a story about power, control, vulnerability, a void, and it is a tragedy. Both sides are worthy of our sympathy.
The soldier went to the queen, exhausted. For however long, he'd been trying for her, and felt used, and wanted to be loved for his contributions. The solider was simply a vaguely familiar face among the legion she'd controlled. Until then, he'd sacrificed everything for her, his time, attention, and risked so very much and wanted to be given back for that, to feel acknowledged, to have those gifts reciprocated. She had maintained a safe distance until now, only being availed when and how she wanted, only to suit her needs.
The queen has encased herself into a fortress, a palace of fine things, which denotes security and power. The soldier wants to know is it that the queen really seeks? Battle after battle has been forged, and it seems a void that can never be filled. What is it the queen is after in life?
The solider is led along her possessions, her fine tapestries (in this case, red silk sheets). The queen never once shows any vulnerability, maintaining the power and control throughout, her refuge is her things and her control of her people, situations, and self serving her interests only - for she is the queen and that's what power is all about. She controls and leads him very step of the way, any only what she allows to take place will have to be on her terms exclusively.
The solider, in seeing her so removed from her heart, sees how immature the queen is, how lacking her entire life is of true intimacy. It's as if the growth of her heart has somehow stagnated amongst the acquisition for her of 'things' and 'safety' instead. He sees she plays with the lives that try to serve her as if they were toys, and why would she use people in such a way?
She didn't have a direct answer, she avoided the question, and was even hostile to be challenged in such way. It shows how incredibly sensitive she really is, amidst the facade of arrogance. In truth, she actually incredibly frail. No one of power should have to be questioned after all, and any testing of this acquires her dismissal. But the soldier glimpsed her weakness therein. A lifetime of this pattern gave her an arsenal of defense mechanisms, and she regained the stronghold of control of her emotions and closed off once again, back to her 'comfort'.
The queen confesses a source of pain - but vaguely, something she grapples with a lot, in a flicker of disclosure. The soldier tried to humble her, to let her experience being vulnerable and therefor experience intimacy. He tries to show her the way to what she wants and deep down most needs.
He sees how lonely she is, how - no matter how many soldiers have come and gone, there is no true fulfillment. He sees how empty and weak a life is, amongst the facade of such power and wealth. He refuses to battle and perpetuate the pattern. He shows her her own emptiness and despair, and gives her the chance to change.
She wanted change, deep down she wanted it more than anything. But it was so foreign, so vulnerable, so scary. All her life she had culminated a sense of control and power the way things were done. It was familiar and safe. Losing control, being wanted instead of needed took away the power that made her feel so safe. To reciprocate, to be transparent, to be blunt when it's not according to her own needs but to others is not a familiar path, and a queen will not yield unless it serves her, of course.
The solider confesses he has simple but pure intentions, to live fully, to live balanced, and to love someone... but to love someone there is no singular line of control or power... and he wonders how she can reconcile that. How can she want love so bad and be so unwilling to be vulnerable and lose control? How can she want intimacy but be so unwilling to be loved and truly known? If she is needed, she still has control. But wanted, wanted for all she is - and not just what makes her feel safe, is terrifying.
Her facade was broken, being seen was painful to her. By being seen so clearly, her power had been taken from her. Ironically, it was the pinnacle chance for love, she was truly vulnerable.... he truly saw her and was reaching out to her. She had what she wanted, and felt so ashamed and scared to be exposed. She can only feel safe when in control.
She offered him the illusion of connection, she'd be there in a moment. And then she sabotaged him. She sabotaged him because it's all she knew, she had to keep control, she had to maintain power, she couldn't be vulnerable or intimate of her own volition, nor could she accept having her weakness seen and having to face that fact through another's eyes. She must keep control at all times, and in even being seen as she was wholly, and tenderly, she lost control. Being wanted fed her pride and ego, but being seen was vulnerable and disempowering to her armor. The soldier is ended, so the vulnerability is too.
And life continued on just as it was.
This can happen in life. It doesn't have to be gender specific. And if you've experienced it, no matter which part you played, I sympathize.
This is a story about power, control, vulnerability, a void, and it is a tragedy. Both sides are worthy of our sympathy.
The soldier went to the queen, exhausted. For however long, he'd been trying for her, and felt used, and wanted to be loved for his contributions. The solider was simply a vaguely familiar face among the legion she'd controlled. Until then, he'd sacrificed everything for her, his time, attention, and risked so very much and wanted to be given back for that, to feel acknowledged, to have those gifts reciprocated. She had maintained a safe distance until now, only being availed when and how she wanted, only to suit her needs.
The queen has encased herself into a fortress, a palace of fine things, which denotes security and power. The soldier wants to know is it that the queen really seeks? Battle after battle has been forged, and it seems a void that can never be filled. What is it the queen is after in life?
The solider is led along her possessions, her fine tapestries (in this case, red silk sheets). The queen never once shows any vulnerability, maintaining the power and control throughout, her refuge is her things and her control of her people, situations, and self serving her interests only - for she is the queen and that's what power is all about. She controls and leads him very step of the way, any only what she allows to take place will have to be on her terms exclusively.
The solider, in seeing her so removed from her heart, sees how immature the queen is, how lacking her entire life is of true intimacy. It's as if the growth of her heart has somehow stagnated amongst the acquisition for her of 'things' and 'safety' instead. He sees she plays with the lives that try to serve her as if they were toys, and why would she use people in such a way?
She didn't have a direct answer, she avoided the question, and was even hostile to be challenged in such way. It shows how incredibly sensitive she really is, amidst the facade of arrogance. In truth, she actually incredibly frail. No one of power should have to be questioned after all, and any testing of this acquires her dismissal. But the soldier glimpsed her weakness therein. A lifetime of this pattern gave her an arsenal of defense mechanisms, and she regained the stronghold of control of her emotions and closed off once again, back to her 'comfort'.
The queen confesses a source of pain - but vaguely, something she grapples with a lot, in a flicker of disclosure. The soldier tried to humble her, to let her experience being vulnerable and therefor experience intimacy. He tries to show her the way to what she wants and deep down most needs.
He sees how lonely she is, how - no matter how many soldiers have come and gone, there is no true fulfillment. He sees how empty and weak a life is, amongst the facade of such power and wealth. He refuses to battle and perpetuate the pattern. He shows her her own emptiness and despair, and gives her the chance to change.
She wanted change, deep down she wanted it more than anything. But it was so foreign, so vulnerable, so scary. All her life she had culminated a sense of control and power the way things were done. It was familiar and safe. Losing control, being wanted instead of needed took away the power that made her feel so safe. To reciprocate, to be transparent, to be blunt when it's not according to her own needs but to others is not a familiar path, and a queen will not yield unless it serves her, of course.
The solider confesses he has simple but pure intentions, to live fully, to live balanced, and to love someone... but to love someone there is no singular line of control or power... and he wonders how she can reconcile that. How can she want love so bad and be so unwilling to be vulnerable and lose control? How can she want intimacy but be so unwilling to be loved and truly known? If she is needed, she still has control. But wanted, wanted for all she is - and not just what makes her feel safe, is terrifying.
Her facade was broken, being seen was painful to her. By being seen so clearly, her power had been taken from her. Ironically, it was the pinnacle chance for love, she was truly vulnerable.... he truly saw her and was reaching out to her. She had what she wanted, and felt so ashamed and scared to be exposed. She can only feel safe when in control.
She offered him the illusion of connection, she'd be there in a moment. And then she sabotaged him. She sabotaged him because it's all she knew, she had to keep control, she had to maintain power, she couldn't be vulnerable or intimate of her own volition, nor could she accept having her weakness seen and having to face that fact through another's eyes. She must keep control at all times, and in even being seen as she was wholly, and tenderly, she lost control. Being wanted fed her pride and ego, but being seen was vulnerable and disempowering to her armor. The soldier is ended, so the vulnerability is too.
And life continued on just as it was.
This can happen in life. It doesn't have to be gender specific. And if you've experienced it, no matter which part you played, I sympathize.