To me it seems that this song is about someone having a dialog with his addiction (to a substance/person or to a mistake that he keeps repeating) and that he tr
"For all the times you left me bleeding
Clouded, weakened by the haze"
He regrets repeating the mistake and decides to quit. (deciding to quit is first step or"square one" to quitting)
But then he "reconcile"s with his mistake (referred to as "demon" later) and does it again and forgets about quitting and he's "back to square nothing"
By "square nothing" he means that he's not even thinking about quitting anymore (zero steps towards quitting)
"It seems I lost my direction" is him realizing that he slipped back into the "mistake/addiction" and "Don't have the strength to let it slip" he doesn't think he's strong enough to quit.
"have no desire for the shore"
"Just let me play here for some time" in other in flames' song they refer to tomorrow as "shore".
He doesn't want to think of tomorrow "no desire for the shore", he just wants to enjoy this momentarily happiness and short lived joy "play for some time".
"Is this how I want to spend my days?
Shadowed, it fears me, my utopia
Try to find some peace to destroy"
"Is this how I want to spend my days?" asking himself to try to convince himself to quit and explaining to himself what the addiction is doing to his life in the following lines.
I think by "my utopia" he means his life and that it fears from his addiction because it's ruining it and it wouldn't be a "utopia" anymore.
"try to find some peace to destroy" is what this problem is doing to his life, destroying other parts that of his life that were in "peace"
"These are my sins, I'm heading to fall" him confessing that he has a problem and it's going to ruin his life and make him "fall"
"Never understood though I accepted
All the weakness that I discover" he accepts that he has a weakness, by weakness he means one of two things, either the addiction itself OR more likely means that he's too weak to quit as he said before "don't have the strength to let it slip" and accepting the weakness (deciding to not quit) is "back to square nothing"
"You gave me a place to hide and lost the key"
that the addiction gives him happiness or an escape from real life "a place to hide" but in return there's no way out, and he cannot escape the addiction "lost the key"
"Spent some quality time with the demon of mine"
"He said "I like the way you struggle but you know I'm gonna win"
By Spending quality time i think means that he "thought about it"
This part of the chorus is a Dialog between him and the addiction, by "quality time" I think means that he started thinking about it and how it's a problem "a
demon"
The demon tells him "you know I'm here to win" by that he means that deep inside he knows he cannot quit and that he will lose as he said before "don't have the strength to let it slip"
"Spent some quality time with my borrowed smile
The gleam is replaced, rip me open and erase me"
by "smile" he's talking about the short lived joy or momentarily happiness this addiction/mistake brings him And by "borrowed" he admits that it's just temporary and that it will fade soon.
He thinks "spent quality time" about this "borrowed
smile" and by doing so the "gleam" of the smile fades as he realizes that it's borrowed and that it came from a mistake.
To me it seems that this song is about someone having a dialog with his addiction (to a substance/person or to a mistake that he keeps repeating) and that he tr
"For all the times you left me bleeding Clouded, weakened by the haze"
He regrets repeating the mistake and decides to quit. (deciding to quit is first step or"square one" to quitting)
But then he "reconcile"s with his mistake (referred to as "demon" later) and does it again and forgets about quitting and he's "back to square nothing"
By "square nothing" he means that he's not even thinking about quitting anymore (zero steps towards quitting)
"It seems I lost my direction" is him realizing that he slipped back into the "mistake/addiction" and "Don't have the strength to let it slip" he doesn't think he's strong enough to quit.
"have no desire for the shore" "Just let me play here for some time" in other in flames' song they refer to tomorrow as "shore".
He doesn't want to think of tomorrow "no desire for the shore", he just wants to enjoy this momentarily happiness and short lived joy "play for some time".
"Is this how I want to spend my days? Shadowed, it fears me, my utopia Try to find some peace to destroy"
"Is this how I want to spend my days?" asking himself to try to convince himself to quit and explaining to himself what the addiction is doing to his life in the following lines.
I think by "my utopia" he means his life and that it fears from his addiction because it's ruining it and it wouldn't be a "utopia" anymore.
"try to find some peace to destroy" is what this problem is doing to his life, destroying other parts that of his life that were in "peace"
"These are my sins, I'm heading to fall" him confessing that he has a problem and it's going to ruin his life and make him "fall"
"Never understood though I accepted All the weakness that I discover" he accepts that he has a weakness, by weakness he means one of two things, either the addiction itself OR more likely means that he's too weak to quit as he said before "don't have the strength to let it slip" and accepting the weakness (deciding to not quit) is "back to square nothing"
"You gave me a place to hide and lost the key" that the addiction gives him happiness or an escape from real life "a place to hide" but in return there's no way out, and he cannot escape the addiction "lost the key"
"Spent some quality time with the demon of mine" "He said "I like the way you struggle but you know I'm gonna win"
By Spending quality time i think means that he "thought about it"
This part of the chorus is a Dialog between him and the addiction, by "quality time" I think means that he started thinking about it and how it's a problem "a demon"
The demon tells him "you know I'm here to win" by that he means that deep inside he knows he cannot quit and that he will lose as he said before "don't have the strength to let it slip"
"Spent some quality time with my borrowed smile The gleam is replaced, rip me open and erase me"
by "smile" he's talking about the short lived joy or momentarily happiness this addiction/mistake brings him And by "borrowed" he admits that it's just temporary and that it will fade soon.
He thinks "spent quality time" about this "borrowed smile" and by doing so the "gleam" of the smile fades as he realizes that it's borrowed and that it came from a mistake.