I know this is not how it was mean't, I know why Brendon wrote it, but I had my own idea before I discovered that and I want to tell a story.
It's a stupid one, and especially not a rarity. I'm 14 and I guess its going to seem naive and immature.
It's my first year of secondary school and the first time in my school life i've felt like I fit in anywhere. I listen to weird music, I dress differently, I somewhat emo I guess, my wrists are scarred, I'm weird and nerdy.
This year I met a bunch of guys and a few girls who I fit in with. It was pretty amazing. I dont feel shy or insecure around them.
I had two best friends, both guys and stupidly, I had a crush on one. Cooper's not exactly cute, nor normal, but I loved his personality and I trusted him with all my dark secrets. I dont really trust people.
Of course, one day I realised I liked him and I kinda wanted to ask him out but i was scared to ruin our friendship. I had no idea what to do. I told Luke and eventually it got out and one of my friends asked him out for me and so on...
We got together and yeah promised nothing would happen if we broke up.
So far I swear I sound like a dumb little kid who thinks she's in love.
I don't know how to explain the feeling.
He made me feel like maybe I was worth something. Maybe I wasn't ugly. I truly believed him when he called me beautiful. It's not a light I've ever seen myself in before. We would text all night, and it was amazing, I loved him so much. It's indescribable. I was certain I wouldn't be okay without him, because it was only with him I had recovered from everything else.
One day, at school, he got hit in the head with a rock, and I was the first one at his side and blood just poured everywhere.
I got on the bus that night and Charlotte and Luke were behind me.
"Luke, can I please tell her?"
"She'll find out soon enough, dont make it worse."
Charlotte told me anyway.
Cooper was planning to break up with me.
It was amazing, the physical pain, I could feel everything drop as the reality reduced me to tears. I was broken from that moment on.
I got home and texted him, telling him I already knew. I was holding onto the very very last hope that maybe it was all shit and we'd be okay.
I was wrong.
I think it took 11 hours of crying to get me to sleep. I was just utterly broken. I was lost. Idk. I wasn't okay. I needed him. I missed him soo much.
I had people there for me the entire time, but I felt alone. Erghh I hate saying this part but I stopped eating and started cutting.
Anyway... where this is going. Cooper and I stopped talking. He got a new girlfriend and I needed to let got. 7 weeks later I havent let go and I'm not okay. But beside the point. I always took this song as coming from Cooper.
"If you love me let me go" I need to let go...
"These words are knives and often leave scars" What his words left behind
"And truth be told I never was yours" We are 14, it doesnt matter, did i really expect it to last?
"The fear of falling apart." I'm just scared of falling apart without him.
No it's not dumb, atleast not according to me. I'm really sorry he broke up with you an you started cutting and stopped eating. It's awful. I cut too. And I've tried to starve. Well I'm more than a month clean now, because my girlfriend is suicidal and instabile and she gets so much worse when I cut, I'm mentally getting worse but if I cut I'll ruin everything she's done to recover. So I can't. I don't know why I'm even telling you this, I mean you probably won't even read this but if you do I'm sorry I...
No it's not dumb, atleast not according to me. I'm really sorry he broke up with you an you started cutting and stopped eating. It's awful. I cut too. And I've tried to starve. Well I'm more than a month clean now, because my girlfriend is suicidal and instabile and she gets so much worse when I cut, I'm mentally getting worse but if I cut I'll ruin everything she's done to recover. So I can't. I don't know why I'm even telling you this, I mean you probably won't even read this but if you do I'm sorry I toke your time, I guess I just wanted to say you deserve better than cutting and starving and all that other shit. I'm sorry.
Little ones, it doesn't seem like it now, but one day all of this won't mean much. Remember to keep your head up and listen to panic. This song is about shedding those worries and listening to the beat of your heart.
Little ones, it doesn't seem like it now, but one day all of this won't mean much. Remember to keep your head up and listen to panic. This song is about shedding those worries and listening to the beat of your heart.
Gospel in traditional religious sense is supposed to be calming, steadying, assuring. So this is gospel, for the fallen ones, those of us who walk a hard path can listen to and read these words and imagine all of those things holding you down are letting you go. When he hits the chorus i always feel myself taking...
Gospel in traditional religious sense is supposed to be calming, steadying, assuring. So this is gospel, for the fallen ones, those of us who walk a hard path can listen to and read these words and imagine all of those things holding you down are letting you go. When he hits the chorus i always feel myself taking a deep breath and bursting out of this shell of doubt and shame and worry.
Panic, for me, has always been inspiring, and if you learn to see their music that way, it can really pull you through the worst of times, things like rape, house fires, the sad and sleepless nights of being a new mother, being evicted and losing my job. It's been a long way to go for me, but panic is really going me find myself again :)
Its not dumb. Those are your feelings and you have strong ones. Not everyone does ya know :) Just dont cut yrself again. The scars stay forever and youll be hiding them yr whole life cuz u wont wNt people to think youre crazy. Just cry and then get up and dance. Youll feel better. God Bless you :)
Its not dumb. Those are your feelings and you have strong ones. Not everyone does ya know :) Just dont cut yrself again. The scars stay forever and youll be hiding them yr whole life cuz u wont wNt people to think youre crazy. Just cry and then get up and dance. Youll feel better. God Bless you :)
I know this is not how it was mean't, I know why Brendon wrote it, but I had my own idea before I discovered that and I want to tell a story.
It's a stupid one, and especially not a rarity. I'm 14 and I guess its going to seem naive and immature.
It's my first year of secondary school and the first time in my school life i've felt like I fit in anywhere. I listen to weird music, I dress differently, I somewhat emo I guess, my wrists are scarred, I'm weird and nerdy.
This year I met a bunch of guys and a few girls who I fit in with. It was pretty amazing. I dont feel shy or insecure around them.
I had two best friends, both guys and stupidly, I had a crush on one. Cooper's not exactly cute, nor normal, but I loved his personality and I trusted him with all my dark secrets. I dont really trust people.
Of course, one day I realised I liked him and I kinda wanted to ask him out but i was scared to ruin our friendship. I had no idea what to do. I told Luke and eventually it got out and one of my friends asked him out for me and so on...
We got together and yeah promised nothing would happen if we broke up.
So far I swear I sound like a dumb little kid who thinks she's in love.
I don't know how to explain the feeling.
He made me feel like maybe I was worth something. Maybe I wasn't ugly. I truly believed him when he called me beautiful. It's not a light I've ever seen myself in before. We would text all night, and it was amazing, I loved him so much. It's indescribable. I was certain I wouldn't be okay without him, because it was only with him I had recovered from everything else.
One day, at school, he got hit in the head with a rock, and I was the first one at his side and blood just poured everywhere.
I got on the bus that night and Charlotte and Luke were behind me. "Luke, can I please tell her?" "She'll find out soon enough, dont make it worse."
Charlotte told me anyway.
Cooper was planning to break up with me.
It was amazing, the physical pain, I could feel everything drop as the reality reduced me to tears. I was broken from that moment on.
I got home and texted him, telling him I already knew. I was holding onto the very very last hope that maybe it was all shit and we'd be okay.
I was wrong.
I think it took 11 hours of crying to get me to sleep. I was just utterly broken. I was lost. Idk. I wasn't okay. I needed him. I missed him soo much.
I had people there for me the entire time, but I felt alone. Erghh I hate saying this part but I stopped eating and started cutting.
Anyway... where this is going. Cooper and I stopped talking. He got a new girlfriend and I needed to let got. 7 weeks later I havent let go and I'm not okay. But beside the point. I always took this song as coming from Cooper.
"If you love me let me go" I need to let go... "These words are knives and often leave scars" What his words left behind "And truth be told I never was yours" We are 14, it doesnt matter, did i really expect it to last? "The fear of falling apart." I'm just scared of falling apart without him.
That's how I always saw it... kinda dumb, huh?
No it's not dumb, atleast not according to me. I'm really sorry he broke up with you an you started cutting and stopped eating. It's awful. I cut too. And I've tried to starve. Well I'm more than a month clean now, because my girlfriend is suicidal and instabile and she gets so much worse when I cut, I'm mentally getting worse but if I cut I'll ruin everything she's done to recover. So I can't. I don't know why I'm even telling you this, I mean you probably won't even read this but if you do I'm sorry I...
No it's not dumb, atleast not according to me. I'm really sorry he broke up with you an you started cutting and stopped eating. It's awful. I cut too. And I've tried to starve. Well I'm more than a month clean now, because my girlfriend is suicidal and instabile and she gets so much worse when I cut, I'm mentally getting worse but if I cut I'll ruin everything she's done to recover. So I can't. I don't know why I'm even telling you this, I mean you probably won't even read this but if you do I'm sorry I toke your time, I guess I just wanted to say you deserve better than cutting and starving and all that other shit. I'm sorry.
Little ones, it doesn't seem like it now, but one day all of this won't mean much. Remember to keep your head up and listen to panic. This song is about shedding those worries and listening to the beat of your heart.
Little ones, it doesn't seem like it now, but one day all of this won't mean much. Remember to keep your head up and listen to panic. This song is about shedding those worries and listening to the beat of your heart.
Gospel in traditional religious sense is supposed to be calming, steadying, assuring. So this is gospel, for the fallen ones, those of us who walk a hard path can listen to and read these words and imagine all of those things holding you down are letting you go. When he hits the chorus i always feel myself taking...
Gospel in traditional religious sense is supposed to be calming, steadying, assuring. So this is gospel, for the fallen ones, those of us who walk a hard path can listen to and read these words and imagine all of those things holding you down are letting you go. When he hits the chorus i always feel myself taking a deep breath and bursting out of this shell of doubt and shame and worry.
Panic, for me, has always been inspiring, and if you learn to see their music that way, it can really pull you through the worst of times, things like rape, house fires, the sad and sleepless nights of being a new mother, being evicted and losing my job. It's been a long way to go for me, but panic is really going me find myself again :)
*helping me
*helping me
Its not dumb. Those are your feelings and you have strong ones. Not everyone does ya know :) Just dont cut yrself again. The scars stay forever and youll be hiding them yr whole life cuz u wont wNt people to think youre crazy. Just cry and then get up and dance. Youll feel better. God Bless you :)
Its not dumb. Those are your feelings and you have strong ones. Not everyone does ya know :) Just dont cut yrself again. The scars stay forever and youll be hiding them yr whole life cuz u wont wNt people to think youre crazy. Just cry and then get up and dance. Youll feel better. God Bless you :)