I think this song is definitely about her alcohol problems (she was sent to a boarding school at 14 because of alcohol addiction,, like getting drunk at home alone, it was serious).
The lines 'I am sleeping with your best friend, how do you like me now' are her saying if she admitted that she has alcohol problems people wouldn't like her. It's so blunt and sudden that I believe her sleeping with someone's best friend is an example of something that someone wouldn't like, that they would be shocked to hear, just like her addiction - it's a metaphor for her addiction. She tells them bluntly and she's like 'how do you like me now?' Knowing that if they really knew the extent of her problem they wouldn't like her that much.
She's then coaxing someone else to get drunk with her because if someone else is too, it would make her feel less bad about being drunk herself. It's also a secretive thing 'won't tell no one about it', so she knows it's something to feel guilty about.
She tells herself over and over that it will be fun, partly to try to convince them but also to convince herself that it's all just fun and games and her alcohol dependancy isn't real/serious.
The next line supports this idea of lying to herself and others - "I am lying, using again". She's lying to herself about the seriousness of her problem, and she's lying to other people about it. The term 'using' is often used in reference to taking drugs.
The bridge talks about smoking and drugs 'cigarettes and robitussin' and asking herself will she ever get to heaven? I.e. this stuff makes her a bad person, is there any redemption for her, is she just a bad person plain and simple. She seems to know the answer so it was a rhetorical question.
The chances of her getting into heaven aren't good. In other words she's too messed up for her to fix herself or be redeemed.
The song ends with the chorus which is one of denial. She doesn't want to know what's good for her, she's too addicted. Therefore she's caught in a vicious cycle of addition and it's easier to just pretend everything's okay than to try and overcome it. She obviously doesn't think she can.
A song about addiction, and therefore very sad, because addiction is horrible - can make you feel so enslaved and chained and can destroy your life and the lives of others.
I think this song is definitely about her alcohol problems (she was sent to a boarding school at 14 because of alcohol addiction,, like getting drunk at home alone, it was serious).
The lines 'I am sleeping with your best friend, how do you like me now' are her saying if she admitted that she has alcohol problems people wouldn't like her. It's so blunt and sudden that I believe her sleeping with someone's best friend is an example of something that someone wouldn't like, that they would be shocked to hear, just like her addiction - it's a metaphor for her addiction. She tells them bluntly and she's like 'how do you like me now?' Knowing that if they really knew the extent of her problem they wouldn't like her that much.
She's then coaxing someone else to get drunk with her because if someone else is too, it would make her feel less bad about being drunk herself. It's also a secretive thing 'won't tell no one about it', so she knows it's something to feel guilty about. She tells herself over and over that it will be fun, partly to try to convince them but also to convince herself that it's all just fun and games and her alcohol dependancy isn't real/serious.
The next line supports this idea of lying to herself and others - "I am lying, using again". She's lying to herself about the seriousness of her problem, and she's lying to other people about it. The term 'using' is often used in reference to taking drugs.
The bridge talks about smoking and drugs 'cigarettes and robitussin' and asking herself will she ever get to heaven? I.e. this stuff makes her a bad person, is there any redemption for her, is she just a bad person plain and simple. She seems to know the answer so it was a rhetorical question. The chances of her getting into heaven aren't good. In other words she's too messed up for her to fix herself or be redeemed.
The song ends with the chorus which is one of denial. She doesn't want to know what's good for her, she's too addicted. Therefore she's caught in a vicious cycle of addition and it's easier to just pretend everything's okay than to try and overcome it. She obviously doesn't think she can.
A song about addiction, and therefore very sad, because addiction is horrible - can make you feel so enslaved and chained and can destroy your life and the lives of others.
A very raw and honest song about it. Beautiful.