Firstly I didn't pick up the drug references at first but after reading some of the comments I get that perspective but I don't feel that it’s entirely about drugs or drug addictions, and it's a very ambiguous song indeed.
I was out a few nights ago and I met a girl Christina for the first time. She had added me as a friend on Facebook a while ago... she had liked my posts, and I'm a lonely, introverted guy that most people ignore so it was weird that she had just randomly added me and had liked pretty much all of my posts on Facebook when hardly any other people bothered to... she had also posted her pictures on Facebook (as she is a photographer) it was so fucking weird because I felt this weird connection with her - someone who I had never met. On the day that I knew I would meet her (we both happened to be going to the same musical gig) just sitting at work I had like these weird butterflies or spontaneous heart palpitations or something every now and again, just when the thought of meeting her popped in my head - very weird. My friend had told me that she used to date a famous musician so maybe it was that which subconsciously triggered it but I don't think it was. So the night came and I met her and we chatted and that entire connection I felt just grew more. Maybe it was all the drinking and smoking weed we did that made me feel this way but I had seriously NEVER MET ANYONE QUITE LIKE HER BEFORE. I tried to kiss her as we were isolated listening to a band, but she just let me give her a peck on the cheek and from there everything in my mind went insane... haywire, I felt so confused and awkward and uncomfortable but didn't let it show and we just carried on the night as we had before, just chatting and being friendly with one another and I stopped pursuing her in that way which might have been a mistake, I donno. The girl that I am actually in a relationship with had actually proposed to me a week before this incident. I don't know what I felt honestly.
Anyway that night after having parted ways with Christina at the musical event I went to go sleep at some random girls house who was sexing my friend in her upstairs bedroom while I sat down stairs talking to a different girl, Zelda, the entire night who had just sniffed some nasty cat (street drug methcatinone) and I'm a recovering addict so it was just awkward for me being there and I felt so mentally sick from the alcohol I had drunk and the incident with Christina earlier. Random girl Zelda played SOAD and Smashing Pumpkins (eventually both at the same time) all the bloody night and surprisingly two bands that I fucking love made me insanely depressed (I am manic depressive by nature). I didn't sleep at all as she kept me up talking about whatnot due to her being high on the drug and she felt bad about it as she had also quit ages ago and had only done it because of peer pressure by her friend upstairs. All I kept thinking about was trying to kiss Christina and the weird way I felt towards her... I have never met anyone quite like her before... such a loving person.... my feelings were... are... so mixed up.
The next day, super sleep deprived I sat at work having to deal with a million new responsibilities that I have been assigned as the company is going through serious changes, I put Temptations on repeat and listened to it a hundred times over and the lyrics made more sense than mostly any other song I have heard in my life.
I have found myself being, and even often literally, walking alone after a night of drinking and drugs many times before in my life as I have always been useless with women and still am, and this was just another of those nights. I basically lied to the girl I'm currently seeing about even going out that night to begin with. She is emotionally unstable and obsessed with me and definitely doesn't deserve an underachiever and deeply insecure person like me. But she claims to have never met anyone quite like me before either... (well not her exact words but anyway you get my meaning)
Listening to Temptation was so befitting to my situation in so, so, so many ways... it was like a revelation... and I am still absorbing the entirety of it ... I just can't stop thinking about Christina no matter how hard I try... and the circle I cannot break... the selfish desires I allow myself to partake in and lying to people... I want to change and do something that helps others (animals at first because if I can't even help myself how am I supposed to help other people?) and I hope to get on that path of no longer being purely self-serving and merely praying for other beings but physically take action in making a positive difference in their lives. That is what I somehow got out of listening to Temptation. I’ll find my soul as I go home. And most importantly, "Oh, it's the last time"... I really hope I give up drinking forever this time.
Just to add - I didn't catch what color Christina's eyes are... :|
Thanks for writing.
I live probably in the other side of the globe in relation to you, but even this your story is very familiar to me. it makes me feel less lonely.
Good luck in your path till you, mate.
Bu the way, you wrote it on my birthday last year. It´s also a little weird.
Thanks for writing.
I live probably in the other side of the globe in relation to you, but even this your story is very familiar to me. it makes me feel less lonely.
Good luck in your path till you, mate.
Bu the way, you wrote it on my birthday last year. It´s also a little weird.
Weird... so very weird...
Firstly I didn't pick up the drug references at first but after reading some of the comments I get that perspective but I don't feel that it’s entirely about drugs or drug addictions, and it's a very ambiguous song indeed.
I was out a few nights ago and I met a girl Christina for the first time. She had added me as a friend on Facebook a while ago... she had liked my posts, and I'm a lonely, introverted guy that most people ignore so it was weird that she had just randomly added me and had liked pretty much all of my posts on Facebook when hardly any other people bothered to... she had also posted her pictures on Facebook (as she is a photographer) it was so fucking weird because I felt this weird connection with her - someone who I had never met. On the day that I knew I would meet her (we both happened to be going to the same musical gig) just sitting at work I had like these weird butterflies or spontaneous heart palpitations or something every now and again, just when the thought of meeting her popped in my head - very weird. My friend had told me that she used to date a famous musician so maybe it was that which subconsciously triggered it but I don't think it was. So the night came and I met her and we chatted and that entire connection I felt just grew more. Maybe it was all the drinking and smoking weed we did that made me feel this way but I had seriously NEVER MET ANYONE QUITE LIKE HER BEFORE. I tried to kiss her as we were isolated listening to a band, but she just let me give her a peck on the cheek and from there everything in my mind went insane... haywire, I felt so confused and awkward and uncomfortable but didn't let it show and we just carried on the night as we had before, just chatting and being friendly with one another and I stopped pursuing her in that way which might have been a mistake, I donno. The girl that I am actually in a relationship with had actually proposed to me a week before this incident. I don't know what I felt honestly.
Anyway that night after having parted ways with Christina at the musical event I went to go sleep at some random girls house who was sexing my friend in her upstairs bedroom while I sat down stairs talking to a different girl, Zelda, the entire night who had just sniffed some nasty cat (street drug methcatinone) and I'm a recovering addict so it was just awkward for me being there and I felt so mentally sick from the alcohol I had drunk and the incident with Christina earlier. Random girl Zelda played SOAD and Smashing Pumpkins (eventually both at the same time) all the bloody night and surprisingly two bands that I fucking love made me insanely depressed (I am manic depressive by nature). I didn't sleep at all as she kept me up talking about whatnot due to her being high on the drug and she felt bad about it as she had also quit ages ago and had only done it because of peer pressure by her friend upstairs. All I kept thinking about was trying to kiss Christina and the weird way I felt towards her... I have never met anyone quite like her before... such a loving person.... my feelings were... are... so mixed up.
The next day, super sleep deprived I sat at work having to deal with a million new responsibilities that I have been assigned as the company is going through serious changes, I put Temptations on repeat and listened to it a hundred times over and the lyrics made more sense than mostly any other song I have heard in my life.
I have found myself being, and even often literally, walking alone after a night of drinking and drugs many times before in my life as I have always been useless with women and still am, and this was just another of those nights. I basically lied to the girl I'm currently seeing about even going out that night to begin with. She is emotionally unstable and obsessed with me and definitely doesn't deserve an underachiever and deeply insecure person like me. But she claims to have never met anyone quite like me before either... (well not her exact words but anyway you get my meaning)
Listening to Temptation was so befitting to my situation in so, so, so many ways... it was like a revelation... and I am still absorbing the entirety of it ... I just can't stop thinking about Christina no matter how hard I try... and the circle I cannot break... the selfish desires I allow myself to partake in and lying to people... I want to change and do something that helps others (animals at first because if I can't even help myself how am I supposed to help other people?) and I hope to get on that path of no longer being purely self-serving and merely praying for other beings but physically take action in making a positive difference in their lives. That is what I somehow got out of listening to Temptation. I’ll find my soul as I go home. And most importantly, "Oh, it's the last time"... I really hope I give up drinking forever this time.
Just to add - I didn't catch what color Christina's eyes are... :|
Thanks for reading
You're not on your own, there's loads of us who feel we've been a let down and not lived up to our potential.
You're not on your own, there's loads of us who feel we've been a let down and not lived up to our potential.
Interesting story mate.
Interesting story mate.
Thanks for writing. I live probably in the other side of the globe in relation to you, but even this your story is very familiar to me. it makes me feel less lonely. Good luck in your path till you, mate. Bu the way, you wrote it on my birthday last year. It´s also a little weird.
Thanks for writing. I live probably in the other side of the globe in relation to you, but even this your story is very familiar to me. it makes me feel less lonely. Good luck in your path till you, mate. Bu the way, you wrote it on my birthday last year. It´s also a little weird.