It seems like he is describing a metaphor for newly realizing and acknowledging his homosexual responses. When he says every man has a symbol, it sounds like a code within homosexual communication, and that he uses his right hand to masturbate to the thoughts that excite him truly, all while trying to restrain those thoughts. When he talks about how was he to know there was milk and honey down below, it just sounds like more of the same kind of regret and disappointment in his own sexual tendencies, about being more like a woman in his sexuality. When he says hook me up to the tank and roll me out the door, it sounds like he has been at war with himself, (a military tank), but he is giving in, and is going to follow his urges to now go where his body leads him. Maybe his reference to using his remaining looks is about making up for romances he has denied himself in the past, and opportunities he has missed - he is now - even though it is late in his romantic life - going to give in to those urges and use his looks to fend for himself - or get what sexual satisfaction he can, even though he is no longer at his sexual peak or ability to seduce, he is now willing to go for what he really wants. The rest of it doesn't really mean anything to me. Breaking things like Howard Hughes after putting down a few could allude to Hughes killing of a pedestrian while driving after drinking alcohol. Or it could refer to Hughes multiple broken bones when his helicopter crashed...And the last lines asking for forgiveness for a place under the sun before the devil made him run...maybe in facing a painful, violent honesty about himself, he disrupted the peaceful but dishonest lifestyle he shared with other people, so he is asking to be absolved for running towards his truth.
This is what it sounds like to me. It plays like a song full of metaphors, not an historical account of actual events in his life.
Actually, that first line about concentration camp and how every man has a symbol could mean that his stamp his how he has always forced his sexual responses back down by screaming at himself not to get excited, and by keeping his right hand from giving in to his urges to give himself pleasure. Like keeping himself in a kind of prison, or concentration camp based on denying his own urges for sexual release because he did not want to admit he is gay. But now, you can call me Nancy from now on, again, it is like he is...
Actually, that first line about concentration camp and how every man has a symbol could mean that his stamp his how he has always forced his sexual responses back down by screaming at himself not to get excited, and by keeping his right hand from giving in to his urges to give himself pleasure. Like keeping himself in a kind of prison, or concentration camp based on denying his own urges for sexual release because he did not want to admit he is gay. But now, you can call me Nancy from now on, again, it is like he is done fighting who and what he is sexually.
It seems like he is describing a metaphor for newly realizing and acknowledging his homosexual responses. When he says every man has a symbol, it sounds like a code within homosexual communication, and that he uses his right hand to masturbate to the thoughts that excite him truly, all while trying to restrain those thoughts. When he talks about how was he to know there was milk and honey down below, it just sounds like more of the same kind of regret and disappointment in his own sexual tendencies, about being more like a woman in his sexuality. When he says hook me up to the tank and roll me out the door, it sounds like he has been at war with himself, (a military tank), but he is giving in, and is going to follow his urges to now go where his body leads him. Maybe his reference to using his remaining looks is about making up for romances he has denied himself in the past, and opportunities he has missed - he is now - even though it is late in his romantic life - going to give in to those urges and use his looks to fend for himself - or get what sexual satisfaction he can, even though he is no longer at his sexual peak or ability to seduce, he is now willing to go for what he really wants. The rest of it doesn't really mean anything to me. Breaking things like Howard Hughes after putting down a few could allude to Hughes killing of a pedestrian while driving after drinking alcohol. Or it could refer to Hughes multiple broken bones when his helicopter crashed...And the last lines asking for forgiveness for a place under the sun before the devil made him run...maybe in facing a painful, violent honesty about himself, he disrupted the peaceful but dishonest lifestyle he shared with other people, so he is asking to be absolved for running towards his truth.
This is what it sounds like to me. It plays like a song full of metaphors, not an historical account of actual events in his life.
Actually, that first line about concentration camp and how every man has a symbol could mean that his stamp his how he has always forced his sexual responses back down by screaming at himself not to get excited, and by keeping his right hand from giving in to his urges to give himself pleasure. Like keeping himself in a kind of prison, or concentration camp based on denying his own urges for sexual release because he did not want to admit he is gay. But now, you can call me Nancy from now on, again, it is like he is...
Actually, that first line about concentration camp and how every man has a symbol could mean that his stamp his how he has always forced his sexual responses back down by screaming at himself not to get excited, and by keeping his right hand from giving in to his urges to give himself pleasure. Like keeping himself in a kind of prison, or concentration camp based on denying his own urges for sexual release because he did not want to admit he is gay. But now, you can call me Nancy from now on, again, it is like he is done fighting who and what he is sexually.