it means that he lived something ha nobody else can believe, and he's trying to say that he's not lying, so he tries to do it again. But he can't do it again, even though he tries. And even though he wants to let go and go on, he just can't do it.
it means that he lived something ha nobody else can believe, and he's trying to say that he's not lying, so he tries to do it again. But he can't do it again, even though he tries. And even though he wants to let go and go on, he just can't do it.