First, I'll preface this with the statement that Jimmy Eat World has been and always will be my favorite band. I love them with such a passion I can't possibly express. Their music has helped me through the toughest times in my life.
Earlier this year I read an interview with the band and that they said that Damage would be more of an "adult" breakup record. Not full of breakup songs they would've written years ago. But breakups that have consequences in adult life. I think this song is the perfect representation of that.
From the beginning, I get the impression of a now-divorced/separated couple who know that they're not meant for each other but (at least he) wants so desperately to work out. From the first verse, I imagine giving a phone call to his ex after he's had a couple drinks, realizing that their lives are so hopelessly tied that he doesn't feel he can be himself without her.
From the chorus, I just get a lot of internal conflict. I'm not sure I'm interpreting it right because of the way it's phrased, but I imagine he's saying how badly he wants her to say that she's done, that they'll never be together because he doesn't have the conviction to walk away on his own. What I don't get are the last two lines, "Say anything but no, and I'd go, I'd go, I'd go." It seems to be in contradiction to what he was saying--that if she says yes or maybe, that he would leave. I'm a bit confused by this part. Any clarification would be welcomed.
As for the second verse, I'm imagining a flashback to when they were together/married (I say married because of mention of kids, but that may not necessarily be the case). This flashback seems the moment he realized they shouldn't be together anymore. That they were hurting each other by remaining together.
The continuation of the second verse seems to be in the here and now, wondering that if they were to get away from all of the people and circumstances that shaped their relationship if they could make it. Pretty heartbreaking.
Actually, taking this part into consideration, and that the chorus is followed this time by "with you, with you, with you." I think maybe he's saying that if she said anything but no that he would go with her, leave his life and everything he knows and go anywhere with her... but with the rest of the chorus, he still wants her to say no so that he knows they've made the right decision, which leads beautifully into the last verse.
The last verse seems to be her answer, in my opinion. I'm still imagining this as the phone call from the beginning of the song. She's basically saying that he already knows the answer he wants, why drudge up all of these feelings and memories when they both know that they could never be... however much they may wish it otherwise.
Anyway, in my opinion, this is one of the most heartbreaking songs they've ever written. I love it.
I'm trying to put together a Love + Heartbreak blog playlist together in time for Valentines. I'm thinking of putting this down but the song's a mixture of contradictions. After reading your post, I shouldn't feel confused about the contradiction and neither should you. Some of the best pieces of art are those that evoke conflicting emotions and this is a perfect example.
I'm trying to put together a Love + Heartbreak blog playlist together in time for Valentines. I'm thinking of putting this down but the song's a mixture of contradictions. After reading your post, I shouldn't feel confused about the contradiction and neither should you. Some of the best pieces of art are those that evoke conflicting emotions and this is a perfect example.
Yes he's saying "please say no". He wants her to make the call, he wants her to have the courage to stick to their decision of breaking up because he doesn't have the strength to. He's pleading for her to give a resounding no so he has no choice in the matter. Because if it were up to him, if she wasn't so strong willed, he'd try getting back together. These feelings are particularly potent when drunk!
He knows that they won't work out. If they got back together, it'll be like the same old routine because old habits die hard. But love is familiar and behind the "please say no" facade is someone, despite knowing that nothing will change if they did get back together, he doesn't have the strength alone to distance himself through this separation.
Also, on the surface it seems as though he's warning her not to get back together:
"If all you're really hoping for is peace of mind
Don't come to me with questions
You'll just waste your time
Exactly what you're looking for
Is what you'll find
All I see around me
Is a losing bag"
However, if we take it that he's saying "please say no" but if she accepted him back and wanted to try again, he would, then this verse takes a whole new meaning. He's broken up with someone who's been a big part of his life, who may have contributed partly or largely to the break up. He's self pitying here but also in denial, he feels he destroyed the relationship and doesn't deserve a second chance to be with her. He says "if you're hoping for is peace of mind, don't come to me with questions" yet he's the one that started this conversation in the first place "I had a couple in me so I reached out".
Anyway, I think this is a long winded discussion when to understand this idea is to think about a relationship you've been in where you've loved your other half dearly and been with for a fair amount of time but hopelessly broke up because there was nothing left to salvage. How did you feel being without that person when you separated? It's all conflicting emotions! :)
I think you've nailed it with that post.
In particular, I hadn't thought of the idea that the last verse could be the second person's response, but now that I've read that idea from you it makes that part make a lot more sense.
I think you've nailed it with that post.
In particular, I hadn't thought of the idea that the last verse could be the second person's response, but now that I've read that idea from you it makes that part make a lot more sense.
Great song.
Great song.
I'm also not sure what he means by "Say anything but no, and I'd go, I'd go, I'd go", but my first impression of that was that he was basically saying "If you do anything other than give me a clear, definitive 'no', I'd go for you immediately".
So this would be him explaining why he wants her to say "no"; he's pretty certain that starting the relationship up again would be a bad idea, but he feels like he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to "go for it" unless she gives him a solid "no".
Also, with the idea of the "Somewhere no one possibly could know our names" part in mind (the idea that they could hypothetically move far away together to try again somewhere new), "I'd go" could be referring to how he'd leave his current life straight away to go and start a new one with her, if she doesn't clearly tell him that that's off the table.
But maybe I'm wrong about the "Say anything but no / And I'd go" part; I'm not sure.
...just realized that the "with you" part after one repetition of "Say anything but no / And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go" makes it seem more likely that I was right in the idea that "I'd go" in that part refers to the idea that he'd leave his current life to go and start a new one with her
...just realized that the "with you" part after one repetition of "Say anything but no / And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go" makes it seem more likely that I was right in the idea that "I'd go" in that part refers to the idea that he'd leave his current life to go and start a new one with her
First, I'll preface this with the statement that Jimmy Eat World has been and always will be my favorite band. I love them with such a passion I can't possibly express. Their music has helped me through the toughest times in my life. Earlier this year I read an interview with the band and that they said that Damage would be more of an "adult" breakup record. Not full of breakup songs they would've written years ago. But breakups that have consequences in adult life. I think this song is the perfect representation of that. From the beginning, I get the impression of a now-divorced/separated couple who know that they're not meant for each other but (at least he) wants so desperately to work out. From the first verse, I imagine giving a phone call to his ex after he's had a couple drinks, realizing that their lives are so hopelessly tied that he doesn't feel he can be himself without her. From the chorus, I just get a lot of internal conflict. I'm not sure I'm interpreting it right because of the way it's phrased, but I imagine he's saying how badly he wants her to say that she's done, that they'll never be together because he doesn't have the conviction to walk away on his own. What I don't get are the last two lines, "Say anything but no, and I'd go, I'd go, I'd go." It seems to be in contradiction to what he was saying--that if she says yes or maybe, that he would leave. I'm a bit confused by this part. Any clarification would be welcomed. As for the second verse, I'm imagining a flashback to when they were together/married (I say married because of mention of kids, but that may not necessarily be the case). This flashback seems the moment he realized they shouldn't be together anymore. That they were hurting each other by remaining together. The continuation of the second verse seems to be in the here and now, wondering that if they were to get away from all of the people and circumstances that shaped their relationship if they could make it. Pretty heartbreaking. Actually, taking this part into consideration, and that the chorus is followed this time by "with you, with you, with you." I think maybe he's saying that if she said anything but no that he would go with her, leave his life and everything he knows and go anywhere with her... but with the rest of the chorus, he still wants her to say no so that he knows they've made the right decision, which leads beautifully into the last verse. The last verse seems to be her answer, in my opinion. I'm still imagining this as the phone call from the beginning of the song. She's basically saying that he already knows the answer he wants, why drudge up all of these feelings and memories when they both know that they could never be... however much they may wish it otherwise.
Anyway, in my opinion, this is one of the most heartbreaking songs they've ever written. I love it.
I'm trying to put together a Love + Heartbreak blog playlist together in time for Valentines. I'm thinking of putting this down but the song's a mixture of contradictions. After reading your post, I shouldn't feel confused about the contradiction and neither should you. Some of the best pieces of art are those that evoke conflicting emotions and this is a perfect example.
I'm trying to put together a Love + Heartbreak blog playlist together in time for Valentines. I'm thinking of putting this down but the song's a mixture of contradictions. After reading your post, I shouldn't feel confused about the contradiction and neither should you. Some of the best pieces of art are those that evoke conflicting emotions and this is a perfect example.
Yes he's saying "please say no". He wants her to make the call, he wants her to have the courage to stick to their decision of breaking up because he doesn't have the strength to. He's pleading for her to give a resounding no so he has no choice in the matter. Because if it were up to him, if she wasn't so strong willed, he'd try getting back together. These feelings are particularly potent when drunk!
He knows that they won't work out. If they got back together, it'll be like the same old routine because old habits die hard. But love is familiar and behind the "please say no" facade is someone, despite knowing that nothing will change if they did get back together, he doesn't have the strength alone to distance himself through this separation.
Also, on the surface it seems as though he's warning her not to get back together:
"If all you're really hoping for is peace of mind Don't come to me with questions You'll just waste your time Exactly what you're looking for Is what you'll find All I see around me Is a losing bag"
However, if we take it that he's saying "please say no" but if she accepted him back and wanted to try again, he would, then this verse takes a whole new meaning. He's broken up with someone who's been a big part of his life, who may have contributed partly or largely to the break up. He's self pitying here but also in denial, he feels he destroyed the relationship and doesn't deserve a second chance to be with her. He says "if you're hoping for is peace of mind, don't come to me with questions" yet he's the one that started this conversation in the first place "I had a couple in me so I reached out".
Anyway, I think this is a long winded discussion when to understand this idea is to think about a relationship you've been in where you've loved your other half dearly and been with for a fair amount of time but hopelessly broke up because there was nothing left to salvage. How did you feel being without that person when you separated? It's all conflicting emotions! :)
I think you've nailed it with that post. In particular, I hadn't thought of the idea that the last verse could be the second person's response, but now that I've read that idea from you it makes that part make a lot more sense.
I think you've nailed it with that post. In particular, I hadn't thought of the idea that the last verse could be the second person's response, but now that I've read that idea from you it makes that part make a lot more sense.
Great song.
Great song.
I'm also not sure what he means by "Say anything but no, and I'd go, I'd go, I'd go", but my first impression of that was that he was basically saying "If you do anything other than give me a clear, definitive 'no', I'd go for you immediately". So this would be him explaining why he wants her to say "no"; he's pretty certain that starting the relationship up again would be a bad idea, but he feels like he wouldn't be able to stop himself from trying to "go for it" unless she gives him a solid "no". Also, with the idea of the "Somewhere no one possibly could know our names" part in mind (the idea that they could hypothetically move far away together to try again somewhere new), "I'd go" could be referring to how he'd leave his current life straight away to go and start a new one with her, if she doesn't clearly tell him that that's off the table.
But maybe I'm wrong about the "Say anything but no / And I'd go" part; I'm not sure.
...just realized that the "with you" part after one repetition of "Say anything but no / And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go" makes it seem more likely that I was right in the idea that "I'd go" in that part refers to the idea that he'd leave his current life to go and start a new one with her
...just realized that the "with you" part after one repetition of "Say anything but no / And I'd go, I'd go, I'd go" makes it seem more likely that I was right in the idea that "I'd go" in that part refers to the idea that he'd leave his current life to go and start a new one with her