I don't remember the first time
But I think I'll survive
Probably better not to try again
'Cause it feeds it, yeah, keeps it alive
There're specific things that I have to do
Day to day just to keep it at bay
You wouldn't believe if you knew
(Oh no, this isn't real)
(Oh no, this isn't real)
Here a little secret
Here's the best part
This is gonna take me
Right back to the start
If I can keep it
If it's set in mind
Wait until it settles
Come join a second time
I don't remember the first time
But I think I'll survive
Probably better not to try to wake up
'Cause it feeds it, yeah, keeps it alive
(Oh no, (no) this isn't real)
(Hmm)
Here's a little secret
Here's the best part
This is gonna take me
Right back to the start
If I can keep it
If it's set in mind
Wait until it settles
Come join a second time
I can feel it move
Up into my head
It is in the room
Panicking in bed
I feel it coming on
Taking over you
Oh, please, not tonight
There's nothing I can do
This is bigger than me
This is in my fear
This is pedophilia
I just disappear
Swears are falling from me
Swallowed up inside
Sailed it as if it
Would make this subside
I can barely handle
I can pass the time
Staring through the curtains
Up into the sky
Where there is no
Depth perception
Keep preoccupied
Self deception
Nobody recognizes
It doesn't have a name
My brother is infected
He's acting just the same
Screaming like a siren
Up and down the hall
He just wants to stop it
He wants to end it all
I am just a child
I am nothing more
Than the basic functions
I am running from
I could run a mile
My distortion
Everything is
Disproportioned
Suddenly a break
All is back again
Everything is closer
More or less the same
And I can hear it
It's real and wild
I will just forget this
'Til next time
I don't remember the first time But I think I'll survive Probably better not to try again 'Cause it feeds it, yeah, keeps it alive
There're specific things that I have to do Day to day just to keep it at bay You wouldn't believe if you knew
(Oh no, this isn't real)
(Oh no, this isn't real) Here a little secret Here's the best part This is gonna take me Right back to the start If I can keep it If it's set in mind Wait until it settles Come join a second time
I don't remember the first time But I think I'll survive Probably better not to try to wake up 'Cause it feeds it, yeah, keeps it alive
(Oh no, (no) this isn't real) (Hmm)
Here's a little secret Here's the best part This is gonna take me Right back to the start If I can keep it If it's set in mind Wait until it settles Come join a second time
I can feel it move Up into my head It is in the room Panicking in bed I feel it coming on Taking over you Oh, please, not tonight There's nothing I can do
This is bigger than me This is in my fear This is pedophilia I just disappear Swears are falling from me Swallowed up inside Sailed it as if it Would make this subside
I can barely handle I can pass the time Staring through the curtains Up into the sky Where there is no Depth perception Keep preoccupied Self deception
Nobody recognizes It doesn't have a name My brother is infected He's acting just the same Screaming like a siren Up and down the hall He just wants to stop it He wants to end it all
I am just a child I am nothing more Than the basic functions I am running from I could run a mile My distortion Everything is Disproportioned
Suddenly a break All is back again Everything is closer More or less the same And I can hear it It's real and wild I will just forget this 'Til next time