Six months after not talking to her, I can say I'm finally done. My life has changed for the better. I joined the Corps. and I'm overseas having the time of my life. A few year goes by.
One day, I get an email.
It's her.
She wants to know how I'm doing. Holy shit did I miss her. Me, not letting my 'douche bag' out, I respond. We have a few conversations exchanged. Pretty soon, we're Skyping. God, I've really missed her face & the way that she sounds. I'm reminded of how we used to be way back when, flirting & teasing. At some point, she opens up and tells me that her leaving was the biggest mistake of her life.
I've been prepared for this. I promised myself that if it ever came down to it, I would never open up and just let my feelings out for her again after that last episode like that one song, "Nothing" by the Script. Sure, there is something left for her in me. She was my first love. How could there not be. I've been holding this in for far too long, but I can't let it out. She doesn't deserve it. And why? Because I think about the pain she brought me.
How could she just tell me that she only loves me as a friend and no more? Damn near two years, sure, not a long time, but it was the time of my life. Did I mention I was her first everything? I'll be honest, I've been trying to replace her and find someone else to fill that addiction I had for that whole time. But I snap back to reality and I figure, if it was meant to work out, it would have. It didn't the first time, what makes me think the second time it'll change? And I agree that if she hadn't have broken up with me, I would have eventually done it myself. It was time for a break.
She's there crying, telling me that after a couple of abusive boyfriends, one drunk time at a party, and a few miscarriages, that I'm the one.
What am I suppose to do?
I tell her I have to go. She's there bawling her eyes out waiting for me to tell her that everything will be ok and when I come home, she'll be the first person I see. Nope.
I bust out my piano, and I start playing the intro to this song. And it feels so great singing aloud to these lyrics as I play to the end:
My favorite parts were:
"I think I need something new here,
But I keep longing for what I had"
"You ruined my favorite records
Listen to them and I think of you"
"I thought this was what you wanted
Someone to put you first in their life "
And of course:
"You won't see it but believe me,
I need to be right where you are
You know that I'm leaving
And you won’t hear 'till a year from now
But this kills me"
Six months after not talking to her, I can say I'm finally done. My life has changed for the better. I joined the Corps. and I'm overseas having the time of my life. A few year goes by. One day, I get an email. It's her. She wants to know how I'm doing. Holy shit did I miss her. Me, not letting my 'douche bag' out, I respond. We have a few conversations exchanged. Pretty soon, we're Skyping. God, I've really missed her face & the way that she sounds. I'm reminded of how we used to be way back when, flirting & teasing. At some point, she opens up and tells me that her leaving was the biggest mistake of her life. I've been prepared for this. I promised myself that if it ever came down to it, I would never open up and just let my feelings out for her again after that last episode like that one song, "Nothing" by the Script. Sure, there is something left for her in me. She was my first love. How could there not be. I've been holding this in for far too long, but I can't let it out. She doesn't deserve it. And why? Because I think about the pain she brought me. How could she just tell me that she only loves me as a friend and no more? Damn near two years, sure, not a long time, but it was the time of my life. Did I mention I was her first everything? I'll be honest, I've been trying to replace her and find someone else to fill that addiction I had for that whole time. But I snap back to reality and I figure, if it was meant to work out, it would have. It didn't the first time, what makes me think the second time it'll change? And I agree that if she hadn't have broken up with me, I would have eventually done it myself. It was time for a break. She's there crying, telling me that after a couple of abusive boyfriends, one drunk time at a party, and a few miscarriages, that I'm the one. What am I suppose to do? I tell her I have to go. She's there bawling her eyes out waiting for me to tell her that everything will be ok and when I come home, she'll be the first person I see. Nope. I bust out my piano, and I start playing the intro to this song. And it feels so great singing aloud to these lyrics as I play to the end: My favorite parts were: "I think I need something new here, But I keep longing for what I had" "You ruined my favorite records Listen to them and I think of you" "I thought this was what you wanted Someone to put you first in their life " And of course: "You won't see it but believe me, I need to be right where you are You know that I'm leaving And you won’t hear 'till a year from now But this kills me"