Lyric discussion by greenaum 

The line with "masturbate" / "hibernate" used the first one in some versions of the song. I think it's Mr Hannon in his youth as a Morrissey-listening artistic teen, crippled by his sensitivity, quite wishing he was out chasing girls round bus-stops instead of writing poems about imaginary ones. Makes more sense with "masturbate" in there.

The Smiths / Morrissey did a couple of songs on that theme.

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