I never listened to the lyrics closely in this song before... I never realized how true it was. I just went through this damn situation. This line in particular:
"I'll do what I can to be a confident wreck
can't feel this way forever, I mean"
Is very striking, along with this:
"wanting not to want you won't make it so"
It hurts just listening to it. There was this girl that I knew for awhile, that I somewhat randomly got to know better through weekly lunches set up by a mutual friend. I liked her after awhile, but I got the feeling I wasn't going to be with her, so I tried to shut it all down. The problem was, she did like me and I saw it more and more, and soon enough I felt like I needed her. I was pretty stressed and busy at the time, and I didn't realize that I was running myself into the ground. She seemed like such a kindness, like the only way to make everything better. It was like she was the only way for me to have any meaning, to have anything besides emptiness. But she had an abusive boyfriend once, and she got freaked out by something she thought I did, and that was it. She never told me why she went cold on me until way later, and by then I was coming apart completely. She went from liking me and being such a bright spot to lying and avoiding me, and I was shattered completely.
She was very kind when she finally told me the truth, but it was too late because there was no way for me to stop wanting her, and she no longer wanted me in the slightest. Just black and white like that, over something I never actually did. I feel terrible that something happened to her in the past, but she ended up being something I simply had no way to deal with. I've been feeling better, but I'm no more than a confident wreck. I never got a real chance with girl I felt like I was in love with. I'm not an emotional guy, and love and affection have never been something I'm very forward about, but everything was different with her. And ever since it really has felt like I got left alone, even though I know it's not true.
Anyways, I almost broke down listening to this song and actually paying attention to the lyrics, so I felt compelled to rant a little bit. I doubt anyone will ever read this anyways
Thanks for telling your story...I usually don't read the huge, personal comments on here but this one affected me. Sorry about what happened to you (and her).
Thanks for telling your story...I usually don't read the huge, personal comments on here but this one affected me. Sorry about what happened to you (and her).
It was just something I felt like putting into words. I guess people read it after all. I appreciate the kindness. I'm a lot better now, but there was quite a long time there where I hated myself and I tried to hate her too. She's so normal with everything else, and it seemed like she was over it by the time she even told me. It was just such a messed up situation. I basically just choose not to think about it anymore, because there's no way for me to be okay about all that happened, my actions included....
It was just something I felt like putting into words. I guess people read it after all. I appreciate the kindness. I'm a lot better now, but there was quite a long time there where I hated myself and I tried to hate her too. She's so normal with everything else, and it seemed like she was over it by the time she even told me. It was just such a messed up situation. I basically just choose not to think about it anymore, because there's no way for me to be okay about all that happened, my actions included. Hating yourself isn't worth it.
I never listened to the lyrics closely in this song before... I never realized how true it was. I just went through this damn situation. This line in particular:
"I'll do what I can to be a confident wreck can't feel this way forever, I mean"
Is very striking, along with this:
"wanting not to want you won't make it so"
It hurts just listening to it. There was this girl that I knew for awhile, that I somewhat randomly got to know better through weekly lunches set up by a mutual friend. I liked her after awhile, but I got the feeling I wasn't going to be with her, so I tried to shut it all down. The problem was, she did like me and I saw it more and more, and soon enough I felt like I needed her. I was pretty stressed and busy at the time, and I didn't realize that I was running myself into the ground. She seemed like such a kindness, like the only way to make everything better. It was like she was the only way for me to have any meaning, to have anything besides emptiness. But she had an abusive boyfriend once, and she got freaked out by something she thought I did, and that was it. She never told me why she went cold on me until way later, and by then I was coming apart completely. She went from liking me and being such a bright spot to lying and avoiding me, and I was shattered completely.
She was very kind when she finally told me the truth, but it was too late because there was no way for me to stop wanting her, and she no longer wanted me in the slightest. Just black and white like that, over something I never actually did. I feel terrible that something happened to her in the past, but she ended up being something I simply had no way to deal with. I've been feeling better, but I'm no more than a confident wreck. I never got a real chance with girl I felt like I was in love with. I'm not an emotional guy, and love and affection have never been something I'm very forward about, but everything was different with her. And ever since it really has felt like I got left alone, even though I know it's not true.
Anyways, I almost broke down listening to this song and actually paying attention to the lyrics, so I felt compelled to rant a little bit. I doubt anyone will ever read this anyways
Thanks for telling your story...I usually don't read the huge, personal comments on here but this one affected me. Sorry about what happened to you (and her).
Thanks for telling your story...I usually don't read the huge, personal comments on here but this one affected me. Sorry about what happened to you (and her).
It was just something I felt like putting into words. I guess people read it after all. I appreciate the kindness. I'm a lot better now, but there was quite a long time there where I hated myself and I tried to hate her too. She's so normal with everything else, and it seemed like she was over it by the time she even told me. It was just such a messed up situation. I basically just choose not to think about it anymore, because there's no way for me to be okay about all that happened, my actions included....
It was just something I felt like putting into words. I guess people read it after all. I appreciate the kindness. I'm a lot better now, but there was quite a long time there where I hated myself and I tried to hate her too. She's so normal with everything else, and it seemed like she was over it by the time she even told me. It was just such a messed up situation. I basically just choose not to think about it anymore, because there's no way for me to be okay about all that happened, my actions included. Hating yourself isn't worth it.
@maill112 thank you for sharing..take heart
@maill112 thank you for sharing..take heart