There is are two extremes presented in this song. The first is that she is too afraid and feels overwhelmed by the issues popping up in her life as in "a conversation I just can't have tonight" and "the night time fear". The second is that she experiences herself as being willing to do anything to overcome this issue ("I'd do anything to make you stay") which she swings back and forth between as in "the morning when it's clear".
This experience is confusing ("hole in my head") and painful ("daylight could be so violent"). Her ambivalence is so loud in her head that she cannot avoid it ("you can't choose what stays and what fades away").
She does, at least, feel some relief in the experience of being able to express herself to a crowd even if it is thru metaphors and implied rather than explicit and available to her to reflect on (or so she tells herself).
She wants a revelation. Something to be able to conclude and move past. Something to make this ambivalence go away. But it wont go away. Not for long anyway. And she is trapped inside herself ("disappearing in plain sight"), and will continue to be trapped and to feel ambivalent as long as she refers to herself as "you" and "your".
I'm not at all convinced this has anything to do with a boyfriend. If it does, it's only as an afterthought or what triggered this cycle going between determination and overwhelming anxiety. The other IS herself. She is both extremes in one body which explains the shifts between mellow to dark in the mood of the song and also her own contradicting thoughts and experiences.
There is are two extremes presented in this song. The first is that she is too afraid and feels overwhelmed by the issues popping up in her life as in "a conversation I just can't have tonight" and "the night time fear". The second is that she experiences herself as being willing to do anything to overcome this issue ("I'd do anything to make you stay") which she swings back and forth between as in "the morning when it's clear".
This experience is confusing ("hole in my head") and painful ("daylight could be so violent"). Her ambivalence is so loud in her head that she cannot avoid it ("you can't choose what stays and what fades away").
She does, at least, feel some relief in the experience of being able to express herself to a crowd even if it is thru metaphors and implied rather than explicit and available to her to reflect on (or so she tells herself).
She wants a revelation. Something to be able to conclude and move past. Something to make this ambivalence go away. But it wont go away. Not for long anyway. And she is trapped inside herself ("disappearing in plain sight"), and will continue to be trapped and to feel ambivalent as long as she refers to herself as "you" and "your".
I'm not at all convinced this has anything to do with a boyfriend. If it does, it's only as an afterthought or what triggered this cycle going between determination and overwhelming anxiety. The other IS herself. She is both extremes in one body which explains the shifts between mellow to dark in the mood of the song and also her own contradicting thoughts and experiences.
@kevinbeal I like your interpretation!
@kevinbeal I like your interpretation!