When I first heard this song, my instant response was my experience after my lover committed suicide...
"You can't find the phone, So you can call it off. But it might be for the best
You can't walk away, anyway, Cause you've nowhere else to go"
-- this line reminds me of the times I was invited to outings... I wanted to numb the emotions instead of dealing with it. I couldn't walk away from the pain but it was best for me to go through grief at my own terms... I couldn't escape.
"Is he worth all this, is it a simple yes? Cause if you have to think, it's fucked
Feels like you loved him more, than he loved you And you wish you'd never met"
-- I remember times where I thought is the pain he put me through worth it? Because the situation was fucked and he was suicidal... the fact that he left me showed that I loved him so much more than he loved me or himself... At times I felt I wish we never met because of all the "what ifs" in my head.
"You've been up all night, and the night before. You've lost count of drinks and time
And your friends keep calling, worried sick, There's strangers everywhere"
-- I would be up all night crying, just denying to myself that he will walk in at some point of the night to say, "why are you crying? I never killed myself..." or just "i love you". To avoid that, I went out every night and just drowned myself with alcohol. My friends would call me because my behaviour was becoming unpredictable.
Where I live, is a small city where everyone knows everyone... so at nights out, I would meet people who have already heard of me through my lover's suicide and that was their 'way' to talk to me.
"When you took the call, how could you know, That he'd slipped away last night
And you wish you went home, days ago To say goodbye or just hello"
-- I got the call a few hours after his passing, and I wish I went to his home and tell him it was okay. I wished to be able to say goodbye or to tell him that I loved him.
When I first heard this song, my instant response was my experience after my lover committed suicide...
"You can't find the phone, So you can call it off. But it might be for the best You can't walk away, anyway, Cause you've nowhere else to go" -- this line reminds me of the times I was invited to outings... I wanted to numb the emotions instead of dealing with it. I couldn't walk away from the pain but it was best for me to go through grief at my own terms... I couldn't escape.
"Is he worth all this, is it a simple yes? Cause if you have to think, it's fucked Feels like you loved him more, than he loved you And you wish you'd never met" -- I remember times where I thought is the pain he put me through worth it? Because the situation was fucked and he was suicidal... the fact that he left me showed that I loved him so much more than he loved me or himself... At times I felt I wish we never met because of all the "what ifs" in my head.
"You've been up all night, and the night before. You've lost count of drinks and time And your friends keep calling, worried sick, There's strangers everywhere" -- I would be up all night crying, just denying to myself that he will walk in at some point of the night to say, "why are you crying? I never killed myself..." or just "i love you". To avoid that, I went out every night and just drowned myself with alcohol. My friends would call me because my behaviour was becoming unpredictable. Where I live, is a small city where everyone knows everyone... so at nights out, I would meet people who have already heard of me through my lover's suicide and that was their 'way' to talk to me.
"When you took the call, how could you know, That he'd slipped away last night And you wish you went home, days ago To say goodbye or just hello" -- I got the call a few hours after his passing, and I wish I went to his home and tell him it was okay. I wished to be able to say goodbye or to tell him that I loved him.
This is my own interpretation.