In a recent interview in Uncut, Ryan said "My grandmother, who was like a mother to me, who took care of me throughout my childhood and my teens, was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and it turned out it was not treatable. My grandmother's mother lived to be 101, so I assumed that my grandmother would live to a very old age. I still am in a lot of pain about her. In that song I'm describing myself in California, driving down Santa Monica Boulevard, thinking 'What the fuck am I doing here? How did I get here? I am losing...my mother.' Basically my mother. I'm trying to think for her and get to grips with my horror and confusion in one line."
In the early dark With your heavy pen
In a recent interview in Uncut, Ryan said "My grandmother, who was like a mother to me, who took care of me throughout my childhood and my teens, was diagnosed with stomach cancer, and it turned out it was not treatable. My grandmother's mother lived to be 101, so I assumed that my grandmother would live to a very old age. I still am in a lot of pain about her. In that song I'm describing myself in California, driving down Santa Monica Boulevard, thinking 'What the fuck am I doing here? How did I get here? I am losing...my mother.' Basically my mother. I'm trying to think for her and get to grips with my horror and confusion in one line."