What Would a Wookie Do? Lyrics

Lyric discussion by PinheadX 

Cover art for What Would a Wookie Do? lyrics by Clutch

Man, these lyrics are ALL messed up. The thing is, Neil Fallon, being the incredible poet that he is, writes with a TON of double entendres and obscure references to things in literature, popular culture, etc. and basically, if you don't know what those references are, you will ALWAYS misinterpret the lyrics. I have yet to find a correct version of the lyrics to this song on the internet. Now, I don't pretend to know them all myself, but I do know quite a bit of the correct ones for this song, and with that said, I'll try to give my best transcription of them. I'll also try to comment to back up what I think he's saying or what I know he's saying.... here goes nothing.

Two oaken doors Open to floors Imported marble Victorian chores

Van Gogh-betweens (mixing Van Gogh and the word go-betweens) Bucolic scenes (bucolic means pastoral, or dealing with the countryside, which much of Van Gogh's art definitely was) Machiavellian and all the lesser-named schemes

Greyhounds and rabbits go round and round but everybody scatters when the Hindenberg goes down

Robber Baronesses Carpet Baggers-ese But honestly speakin' now we all got the same plisses ( - mispronunciation of the french word. It's a way to make pleated fabrics, sort of ties into the carpet bagger reference above)

I'm afraid the party's cancelled - What? The servants never showed - Damn! On the wall was penciled A most foreboding note

Forest getting ready Man begat too much All the world will suffer The Wookie's wicked clutch

The theocrats With cricket bats Hezbollotta love to give (Hezbollah and a lot of love mixed into one word... the irony is that Hezbollah is regarded as a terrorist organization, not one known for "love", and they advocate a theocratic state, based on Islam. Ties into the previous lines) you never take it back

A graver danger (You bounce and rape her? bouncing raver? not really sure on this one) Medulla oblongata go (oblongata go... gotta go... another mixed metaphor and might be the key to the previous line but I don't get the connection yet. ) I'll see you all later

Ole Festus draggin' one leg behind (okay, nobody is gonna know this, but Festus was the name of a character on Gunsmoke, who limped.) And when the trap is sprung The warrior loses his mind

Assassins trippin' High on hashish But honestly speaking now, We all need the same relief

One day or another, kid Our war will be gone One day or another, kid All death will be done One day or another, kid Our war will be gone One day

General Borders You have your orders Invisible Freemasonry Incoming mortars

The flyers landing And are demanding Keep on firing Until the last man standing

Stockcars in habits Go round and round But everybody scatters When the stock market goes down

Robber Baronesses Carpet Baggers-ese But honestly speakin' now We all got the same disease

I'm afraid the hunt's been cancelled The game never showed (game, as in what people hunt) On the trick was penciled A most foreboding note

Forest gettin' ready Man begat too much All the world will suffer The Wookie's wicked clutch

Lyric Correction

I think you've mostly got it sorted out, Pinhead. Here's what I think about what you've got:

Victorian chores - This really sounds like "drawers" to me

Ole Festus draggin' - I thought the line was "Hephaestus draggin'", Hephaestus being the Greek god of blacksmiths who had a pronounced limp. How that ties into the song, I don't know, unless it relates to the trap mentioned a couple of lines later.

@PinheadX I know I'm 12 years late to the party, but Festus Hagen did not have a limp. That was Chester Goode. Chester was Marshal Dillon's deputy before Festus.