i absolutely hate to compare all of elliott smith's songs to addiction BUT here i go..
i can't help but see the parallels between this song and my own personal struggles with heroin addiction.
"you walk down alameda shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone" reminds me of when i first started seriously using and believed i fooled everyone. that nobody knew the truth. my own personal deck of trick cards was the facade of a life i lived. i went to work every day, paid my bills, was in a relationship. there was no sign that anything was wrong beneath the surface. i thought i had it figured out and actually got a kick out of knowing that i could shoot dope in the bathroom at work and walk into my boss's office 10 minutes later. "face down, bow to the champion."
the next phase of my addiction was, as with almost every addict, marked by increase use and its subsequent consequences. i started neglecting friends, family. still went to work but only as a means to support my addiction. "you walk down alameda looking at the cracks in the sidewalk thinking about your friends how you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense" my friends realized something was up and the history of our group of friends shows that those who go down the road of addiction typically end up either dead or in jail. what's it going to be? also i started relying on people around me more and more all as crutches to support my addiction. there are a few people i can think of who i'm sure absolutely dreaded my phone calls because they knew it wasn't just me calling to see how they were. not to mention the potential for phone calls from others saying i ended up dead like so many others have.
next was full blown addiction with little care for anything else. no care, i should say. i had been self aware for years at this point but only recently decided i really didn't care. addiction kept me arrested to the point that i watched everything i once loved and held dear to me crumble around me and the most fucked up part is that I DID NOT CARE. "walk down alameda brushing off the nightmare you wish would plague me when i'm awake." lost my job? oh well i still have a paycheck coming. lost my girl? good even less reason to have any restraint. no place to live? i always liked shooting dope in the park anyway. all these things that should have deterred me or at least kept me awake at night were complete non-issues. "and now you see your first mistake was thinking you could relate." this line rings so true to me. the whole self-pity mixed with a fucked up weird self-righteousness. you will never understand where i am coming from, why even bother trying? just leave me to my medicine.
anyway this is just what i get out of the song. i'm not claiming i know exactly where he was going, it's just an interpretation. regardless this song helped me through some extremely difficult times in my life. i've only been clean of heroin for 2 months but anyone who has been through the throws of any addiction can attest to how hard even one day is and i attribute a lot of what i have accomplished to this man. from the jaws of addiction to the horrors of withdrawal he helped me deal with my emotions (or lack there of during the worst parts of addiction) every step of the way.
if any of you are having trouble with addiction and need somebody, even a random person from songmeanings.net, to talk to feel free to email me at asouthern729@gmail.com and i'll try to give you any comfort i can. just know you aren't alone.
I dig your personal interpretation andrew, but at the same time I think its personalising some of the lyrics. Like:
I dig your personal interpretation andrew, but at the same time I think its personalising some of the lyrics. Like:
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense
For your own protection over their affection
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense
For your own protection over their affection
I think the second line reveals that its more about the empty living that goes on in the world of drugs. You never end up being connected to anyone cause users are all so insecure that they can't reveal themselves with any true depth.
I think the second line reveals that its more about the empty living that goes on in the world of drugs. You never end up being connected to anyone cause users are all so insecure that they can't reveal themselves with any true depth.
I like that you used the word 'facade' to describe your days using, but I think the notion...
I like that you used the word 'facade' to describe your days using, but I think the notion of facade goes deeper than just maintaining.
More lines like "your all pretension" and "for one or two minutes she liked you" reveal that its about someone who just can't show his true face while he's masked by his addiction.
Keep up the fight man, I'm a little under a month away from my 1 year key tag myself.
@asouthern729 I love your interpretation of this song -- and also that you aren't trying to tell us what you think Elliott meant, but what the song means for YOU. I enjoyed your explanation of what it says to you, line by line, too. I can hear Elliott's regret, in this song, for not letting people get close (and I'm sure his addiction was intertwined with that) but I'm betting the song's mostly about heroin addiction, because of how clearly it resonates with you.
@asouthern729 I love your interpretation of this song -- and also that you aren't trying to tell us what you think Elliott meant, but what the song means for YOU. I enjoyed your explanation of what it says to you, line by line, too. I can hear Elliott's regret, in this song, for not letting people get close (and I'm sure his addiction was intertwined with that) but I'm betting the song's mostly about heroin addiction, because of how clearly it resonates with you.
You sound like you feel like you're looking into a mirror. I know that feeling...
You sound like you feel like you're looking into a mirror. I know that feeling -- it usually means you have something REALLY BIG in common with what you're looking at.
Also I love that you offer support to people with addiction, and your email address. That's very special, and I hope it hasn't been abused. I hope you're well, and that you were able to stay off the stuff -- or re-recover, if you've relapsed. (I used to work with addicts, and I know that's a frequent pattern.) The heroin addicts were always so introspective, and easy to talk to :-D.
I'm well aware of my addictive personality, so, not something I'd try. (I told my kids I'd try almost anything once, but there are certain drugs that it's not worth trying, in my opinion. Heroin, meth, tobacco -- no. Alcohol and pot, sure. Those are only addictive to those of us who get addicted to anything. Right now it's Elliott I'm addicted to -- for the past 2/3 of a year since I first heard him. (I was driving when I first heard him, and Pandora played Angel in the Snow. I almost had to pull over.)
I've been listening to Alameda every chance I get since I found the Either/Or album 2 days ago. Wow, what a lovely song, just haunting. He was such a great combination of musical genius and all heart and soul. I'm bummed I never knew about him while he was alive..... and much more bummed that he died so young.
ANyhow I just wanted to say that I appreciated your explanation, and sharing of yourself, and offering to help people. It feels like a very fitting way to honor Elliot.
-- Nadine (and here's an icon of my other big addiction :-D)
@asouthern729 Wow man is incredible how some personal stories fit with Elliott's songs.
@asouthern729 Wow man is incredible how some personal stories fit with Elliott's songs.
I absolutely have no idea of how it's like to pass through a hell addiction like the one you suffer.
I absolutely have no idea of how it's like to pass through a hell addiction like the one you suffer.
Nevertheless, remember the problem is not the drug itself, is the emotional-mental background, if you can deal with it if you can cope and confront your own family loyalties if you can confront your most grounded set of beliefs then you can overcome addiction! hope you get help man!
Nevertheless, remember the problem is not the drug itself, is the emotional-mental background, if you can deal with it if you can cope and confront your own family loyalties if you can confront your most grounded set of beliefs then you can overcome addiction! hope you get help man!
I would be extremely surprised if there were not multiple layers of meaning to this and Elliott often uses drugs as a vehicle to portray other human emotions. The thing I think everyone is missing here is that it's not about Elliott. This is one of the few times I think that Elliott is actually speaking about someone else when he says "you". The reason is because you can see he changes person a couple times in the song.. he literally says "the nightmares YOU wish could plague ME". He also says "I don't pay any attention" when talking about...
I would be extremely surprised if there were not multiple layers of meaning to this and Elliott often uses drugs as a vehicle to portray other human emotions. The thing I think everyone is missing here is that it's not about Elliott. This is one of the few times I think that Elliott is actually speaking about someone else when he says "you". The reason is because you can see he changes person a couple times in the song.. he literally says "the nightmares YOU wish could plague ME". He also says "I don't pay any attention" when talking about "she loved you for a minute or two". I think this is actually about a girl who doesn't seem to know what she wants, maybe hiding her real emotions to protect herself. So she is alone, but feels like someone broke her heart when really she's the one running.
i absolutely hate to compare all of elliott smith's songs to addiction BUT here i go..
i can't help but see the parallels between this song and my own personal struggles with heroin addiction.
"you walk down alameda shuffling your deck of trick cards over everyone" reminds me of when i first started seriously using and believed i fooled everyone. that nobody knew the truth. my own personal deck of trick cards was the facade of a life i lived. i went to work every day, paid my bills, was in a relationship. there was no sign that anything was wrong beneath the surface. i thought i had it figured out and actually got a kick out of knowing that i could shoot dope in the bathroom at work and walk into my boss's office 10 minutes later. "face down, bow to the champion."
the next phase of my addiction was, as with almost every addict, marked by increase use and its subsequent consequences. i started neglecting friends, family. still went to work but only as a means to support my addiction. "you walk down alameda looking at the cracks in the sidewalk thinking about your friends how you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense" my friends realized something was up and the history of our group of friends shows that those who go down the road of addiction typically end up either dead or in jail. what's it going to be? also i started relying on people around me more and more all as crutches to support my addiction. there are a few people i can think of who i'm sure absolutely dreaded my phone calls because they knew it wasn't just me calling to see how they were. not to mention the potential for phone calls from others saying i ended up dead like so many others have.
next was full blown addiction with little care for anything else. no care, i should say. i had been self aware for years at this point but only recently decided i really didn't care. addiction kept me arrested to the point that i watched everything i once loved and held dear to me crumble around me and the most fucked up part is that I DID NOT CARE. "walk down alameda brushing off the nightmare you wish would plague me when i'm awake." lost my job? oh well i still have a paycheck coming. lost my girl? good even less reason to have any restraint. no place to live? i always liked shooting dope in the park anyway. all these things that should have deterred me or at least kept me awake at night were complete non-issues. "and now you see your first mistake was thinking you could relate." this line rings so true to me. the whole self-pity mixed with a fucked up weird self-righteousness. you will never understand where i am coming from, why even bother trying? just leave me to my medicine.
anyway this is just what i get out of the song. i'm not claiming i know exactly where he was going, it's just an interpretation. regardless this song helped me through some extremely difficult times in my life. i've only been clean of heroin for 2 months but anyone who has been through the throws of any addiction can attest to how hard even one day is and i attribute a lot of what i have accomplished to this man. from the jaws of addiction to the horrors of withdrawal he helped me deal with my emotions (or lack there of during the worst parts of addiction) every step of the way.
if any of you are having trouble with addiction and need somebody, even a random person from songmeanings.net, to talk to feel free to email me at asouthern729@gmail.com and i'll try to give you any comfort i can. just know you aren't alone.
love, andrew
I dig your personal interpretation andrew, but at the same time I think its personalising some of the lyrics. Like:
I dig your personal interpretation andrew, but at the same time I think its personalising some of the lyrics. Like:
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense For your own protection over their affection
How you maintain all them in a constant state of suspense For your own protection over their affection
I think the second line reveals that its more about the empty living that goes on in the world of drugs. You never end up being connected to anyone cause users are all so insecure that they can't reveal themselves with any true depth.
I think the second line reveals that its more about the empty living that goes on in the world of drugs. You never end up being connected to anyone cause users are all so insecure that they can't reveal themselves with any true depth.
I like that you used the word 'facade' to describe your days using, but I think the notion...
I like that you used the word 'facade' to describe your days using, but I think the notion of facade goes deeper than just maintaining.
More lines like "your all pretension" and "for one or two minutes she liked you" reveal that its about someone who just can't show his true face while he's masked by his addiction.
Keep up the fight man, I'm a little under a month away from my 1 year key tag myself.
For one or two minutes she liked you But the fix is in
For one or two minutes she liked you But the fix is in
...it says it all. You can meet the person of your dreams -- who cares? A junkie will take their drug over anyone. Even themselves.
...it says it all. You can meet the person of your dreams -- who cares? A junkie will take their drug over anyone. Even themselves.
@asouthern729 I love your interpretation of this song -- and also that you aren't trying to tell us what you think Elliott meant, but what the song means for YOU. I enjoyed your explanation of what it says to you, line by line, too. I can hear Elliott's regret, in this song, for not letting people get close (and I'm sure his addiction was intertwined with that) but I'm betting the song's mostly about heroin addiction, because of how clearly it resonates with you.
@asouthern729 I love your interpretation of this song -- and also that you aren't trying to tell us what you think Elliott meant, but what the song means for YOU. I enjoyed your explanation of what it says to you, line by line, too. I can hear Elliott's regret, in this song, for not letting people get close (and I'm sure his addiction was intertwined with that) but I'm betting the song's mostly about heroin addiction, because of how clearly it resonates with you.
You sound like you feel like you're looking into a mirror. I know that feeling...
You sound like you feel like you're looking into a mirror. I know that feeling -- it usually means you have something REALLY BIG in common with what you're looking at.
Also I love that you offer support to people with addiction, and your email address. That's very special, and I hope it hasn't been abused. I hope you're well, and that you were able to stay off the stuff -- or re-recover, if you've relapsed. (I used to work with addicts, and I know that's a frequent pattern.) The heroin addicts were always so introspective, and easy to talk to :-D.
I'm well aware of my addictive personality, so, not something I'd try. (I told my kids I'd try almost anything once, but there are certain drugs that it's not worth trying, in my opinion. Heroin, meth, tobacco -- no. Alcohol and pot, sure. Those are only addictive to those of us who get addicted to anything. Right now it's Elliott I'm addicted to -- for the past 2/3 of a year since I first heard him. (I was driving when I first heard him, and Pandora played Angel in the Snow. I almost had to pull over.)
I've been listening to Alameda every chance I get since I found the Either/Or album 2 days ago. Wow, what a lovely song, just haunting. He was such a great combination of musical genius and all heart and soul. I'm bummed I never knew about him while he was alive..... and much more bummed that he died so young.
ANyhow I just wanted to say that I appreciated your explanation, and sharing of yourself, and offering to help people. It feels like a very fitting way to honor Elliot.
-- Nadine (and here's an icon of my other big addiction :-D)
e>
Ô /~O\O
@asouthern729 Wow man is incredible how some personal stories fit with Elliott's songs.
@asouthern729 Wow man is incredible how some personal stories fit with Elliott's songs.
I absolutely have no idea of how it's like to pass through a hell addiction like the one you suffer.
I absolutely have no idea of how it's like to pass through a hell addiction like the one you suffer.
Nevertheless, remember the problem is not the drug itself, is the emotional-mental background, if you can deal with it if you can cope and confront your own family loyalties if you can confront your most grounded set of beliefs then you can overcome addiction! hope you get help man!
Nevertheless, remember the problem is not the drug itself, is the emotional-mental background, if you can deal with it if you can cope and confront your own family loyalties if you can confront your most grounded set of beliefs then you can overcome addiction! hope you get help man!
Best wishes!
Best wishes!
I would be extremely surprised if there were not multiple layers of meaning to this and Elliott often uses drugs as a vehicle to portray other human emotions. The thing I think everyone is missing here is that it's not about Elliott. This is one of the few times I think that Elliott is actually speaking about someone else when he says "you". The reason is because you can see he changes person a couple times in the song.. he literally says "the nightmares YOU wish could plague ME". He also says "I don't pay any attention" when talking about...
I would be extremely surprised if there were not multiple layers of meaning to this and Elliott often uses drugs as a vehicle to portray other human emotions. The thing I think everyone is missing here is that it's not about Elliott. This is one of the few times I think that Elliott is actually speaking about someone else when he says "you". The reason is because you can see he changes person a couple times in the song.. he literally says "the nightmares YOU wish could plague ME". He also says "I don't pay any attention" when talking about "she loved you for a minute or two". I think this is actually about a girl who doesn't seem to know what she wants, maybe hiding her real emotions to protect herself. So she is alone, but feels like someone broke her heart when really she's the one running.