A lot of richey's later conclusions seem very pessimistic. I also think his idea that he didn't quite fit anywhere or couldn't reach perfection- as referenced in DitS (I can't seem to stay a fixed ideal - childhood pictures redeem- clean and so serene) is shown clearly in this. He seems to look at life as torture, but relationships, which could soothe him, instead only make him more aware of the things he dislikes about himself and about humanity.
A lot of richey's later conclusions seem very pessimistic. I also think his idea that he didn't quite fit anywhere or couldn't reach perfection- as referenced in DitS (I can't seem to stay a fixed ideal - childhood pictures redeem- clean and so serene) is shown clearly in this. He seems to look at life as torture, but relationships, which could soothe him, instead only make him more aware of the things he dislikes about himself and about humanity.