It’s unreal on what level a song can speak to you; maybe even guide you out of your situation. I started listening to Tegan and Sarah a year ago when I heard "feel it in my bones." What affected me was their voice distinguished itself over the noise and crap you sometimes hear on the radio. The month before my girlfriend had dumped because I was no longer the same person that she fell in love with. In my mind I couldn't let go because like Tegan and Sarah she was the only one who had glimpse of my soul. And so began my walk with a ghost, a ghost which nearly killed me off and sent me deeper down a pit for a year. Tegan too was left behind in the video with her ghosts, her thoughts, etc. Ripping my heart of my chest when she wishes death on me I had no reason to live because at this point I was already loner waiting to see her university of next year. I thought I could manage my insomnia raged on for nights on end making it difficult to tell reality from delusional during daylight. It got so bad that I began seeing her during the day and talking to her while lucid dreaming. There was times where people noticed my strange behaviour so I had to withdraw into myself in order to get away from them. I became the complete opposite of myself and didn’t care because it kept me happy and “well” under the enormous amounts of stresses I was feeling from school. She became my drug and if the delusions and dreams weren’t enough I couldn’t get her out of my head.
When fantasies weren’t enough to repress the love I felt for her racy thoughts flooded my mind 24 hours of the day. At the time it was summer and I sunk into a world of drugs (painkillers, weed, alcohol, anything to occupant me) which numb the pain and turned me into a crackhead. I was listening to "back in my head" one day and was thinking to myself “that’s what I’ve always wanted…” Tegan and Sarah communicated to me in ways through that song that nobody else had or else I would have been okay. It lightens my sorrow but it wasn’t what I was looking for as I continued to try to kill myself in order to kill my thoughts. I was unsuccessful in my attempts even though I ended up bashing my head on the road by loosening the front tires on a hill. I found myself in a parallel world for the next couple months waking up and smoking anything I could get my hands on and in larger quantities. In January I heard the song “the con” and I was at the point where I needed someone to encircle me because I couldn’t help myself at this point. It reminded me of how I felt when I called my ex and she told me to die, “capsized.” Even though I’m a guy I have no problem admitting I cried myself because I was so disgusted with the image facing back at me in the mirror. My teeth had gotten soft from not eating, the bags under my eye lid sunk even lower and I had abandoned my hopes and inspiration in life.
It took another month for me to come across another one of Tegan and Sarah’s singles walking with a ghost after I found out the White Stripes are finished and they did a cover for them. When I saw Tegan with another girl I thought it was Sarah at first but when I noticed it was all alone with her something had dawned to my spirit that wasn’t clear to me before. I wasn’t entirely alone, I was overtaken but maniac bipolar disorder. This had been the closure that I was looking for all this time. It had taken a hold of my relationship to my ex but I had always thought that I strictly suffered from depression, social anxiety, and insomnia. The knowledge I had gain from Tegan literal sense of being stuck with one’s self (which points out one’s mind is powerful tool to self-destruction, especially love) shed light on my own situation, my struggle with maniac bipolar disorder. You must understand I did not realize that I had issues only now but I had seek therapy, medication, and all sorts of things but none of those professional really knew how I felt. You could say Tegan and Sarah is therapy music for the soul but that wouldn’t be far from the truth. They broke out of my bipolar cycle and returned back to normal that Sunday night two weeks back. It felt like I regain my strength that I had lost to my alter ego. What was strange too was I overcame substance abuse that night without any medication (my family doesn’t very much money so I didn’t come to them with my problems and neither did I want to), however; I’m currently seeking help and feeling better about it. It unfortunate that the twins had to suffer at one point in their lives in order to produce these songs but their suffering and beauty has an effect on us all or else you’ve wouldn’t have read this far. I hope Tegan and Sarah come across this if not I hope to see them one day because if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t made out alive this year, they have my undying gratitude
@inconstanti
It’s unreal on what level a song can speak to you; maybe even guide you out of your situation. I started listening to Tegan and Sarah a year ago when I heard "feel it in my bones." What affected me was their voice distinguished itself over the noise and crap you sometimes hear on the radio. The month before my girlfriend had dumped because I was no longer the same person that she fell in love with. In my mind I couldn't let go because like Tegan and Sarah she was the only one who had glimpse of my soul. And so began my walk with a ghost, a ghost which nearly killed me off and sent me deeper down a pit for a year. Tegan too was left behind in the video with her ghosts, her thoughts, etc. Ripping my heart of my chest when she wishes death on me I had no reason to live because at this point I was already loner waiting to see her university of next year. I thought I could manage my insomnia raged on for nights on end making it difficult to tell reality from delusional during daylight. It got so bad that I began seeing her during the day and talking to her while lucid dreaming. There was times where people noticed my strange behaviour so I had to withdraw into myself in order to get away from them. I became the complete opposite of myself and didn’t care because it kept me happy and “well” under the enormous amounts of stresses I was feeling from school. She became my drug and if the delusions and dreams weren’t enough I couldn’t get her out of my head.
When fantasies weren’t enough to repress the love I felt for her racy thoughts flooded my mind 24 hours of the day. At the time it was summer and I sunk into a world of drugs (painkillers, weed, alcohol, anything to occupant me) which numb the pain and turned me into a crackhead. I was listening to "back in my head" one day and was thinking to myself “that’s what I’ve always wanted…” Tegan and Sarah communicated to me in ways through that song that nobody else had or else I would have been okay. It lightens my sorrow but it wasn’t what I was looking for as I continued to try to kill myself in order to kill my thoughts. I was unsuccessful in my attempts even though I ended up bashing my head on the road by loosening the front tires on a hill. I found myself in a parallel world for the next couple months waking up and smoking anything I could get my hands on and in larger quantities. In January I heard the song “the con” and I was at the point where I needed someone to encircle me because I couldn’t help myself at this point. It reminded me of how I felt when I called my ex and she told me to die, “capsized.” Even though I’m a guy I have no problem admitting I cried myself because I was so disgusted with the image facing back at me in the mirror. My teeth had gotten soft from not eating, the bags under my eye lid sunk even lower and I had abandoned my hopes and inspiration in life.
It took another month for me to come across another one of Tegan and Sarah’s singles walking with a ghost after I found out the White Stripes are finished and they did a cover for them. When I saw Tegan with another girl I thought it was Sarah at first but when I noticed it was all alone with her something had dawned to my spirit that wasn’t clear to me before. I wasn’t entirely alone, I was overtaken but maniac bipolar disorder. This had been the closure that I was looking for all this time. It had taken a hold of my relationship to my ex but I had always thought that I strictly suffered from depression, social anxiety, and insomnia. The knowledge I had gain from Tegan literal sense of being stuck with one’s self (which points out one’s mind is powerful tool to self-destruction, especially love) shed light on my own situation, my struggle with maniac bipolar disorder. You must understand I did not realize that I had issues only now but I had seek therapy, medication, and all sorts of things but none of those professional really knew how I felt. You could say Tegan and Sarah is therapy music for the soul but that wouldn’t be far from the truth. They broke out of my bipolar cycle and returned back to normal that Sunday night two weeks back. It felt like I regain my strength that I had lost to my alter ego. What was strange too was I overcame substance abuse that night without any medication (my family doesn’t very much money so I didn’t come to them with my problems and neither did I want to), however; I’m currently seeking help and feeling better about it. It unfortunate that the twins had to suffer at one point in their lives in order to produce these songs but their suffering and beauty has an effect on us all or else you’ve wouldn’t have read this far. I hope Tegan and Sarah come across this if not I hope to see them one day because if it weren’t for them I wouldn’t made out alive this year, they have my undying gratitude
Sincerely, Martin Mirek