Lyric discussion by lazarussleptin 

Cover art for Bitter Tea lyrics by Fiery Furnaces, The

The lyrics are about hanging out in Taipei, Taiwan.

Sun Yat Sen Memorial Hall is a large park that locals use for rollerblading, small group dance practice, tai chi, yoga, jogging, whatever, hence the Multi-Functional. It is located in a bustling office district, hence the special category business.

Bitter tea is a special Taiwanese brew of tea that is good for people who stay up late drinking and smoking cigarettes too often. Snake Alley is a touristy spot where you can watch a live snake flaying and then drink the various vital fluids of snake for the betterment of your chi.

Traditional Taiwanese/Chinese culture uses a Lunar calendar. Hot springs bathing is a favorite pastime in Taiwan, and banyan trees fill the cities and parks. Osmanthus blossoms are a common ingredient in local cooking.

In response to Where does she get this stuff?!! the particular answer for this song here is Taiwan, the general answer for this LP seems to be travel.

My Interpretation

@lazarussleptin Notice too that the instrumental/ electronic part of the song is using Chinese scales (pentatonic?).