"it is my birthday
it is a new year
i should be happy
that i am still here
light up a new joint
put on an old shirt
try to remember
forget how my brain works"
He realizes he's getting older, so he turns to what's familiar. Drugs, clothes.. He's trying to be happy about moving on but he's turning to his past. And the reference isn't about weed. It's about heroin. We all know Max Bemis was addicted to Heroin, don't deny it... He's spent many times in and out of treatment facilities for it. BTW youngings, heroin can be smoked. And yes! Even in a joint form! There is a chance that it was about weed. I honestly think that it was written in reference to heroin, especially considering the fact that a short time later The Church Channel was released, which is about his time in a treatment facility. Anyways...
but i could read a book
a night before this year
i knew every word
their definitions clear
but now in stealth
i check thesaurus
it's become my guilty mistress
He's talking about he used to be quite smart, but he's resorted to using a thesaurus to help him seem smarter than he is to cover his drug use.
it is my birthday
i've got all my friends here
they haven't been talking as of lately
they've all found new bro's and babies
i have smoked away my pride
there is nothing but the cinders of it inside
but i believed in more than nothingness last year
and under every quiet failure it's still here
buried breathing under 18 years
of tragedy and fear
if i could crawl my way out of this grave
just think of all the time i'd save
He threw a party gathering all his friends, only to realize they've moved on from him while he's been on drugs. He realizes his drugs have destroyed himself and his friendships, but he hasn't lost touch with his dreams and goals. The last two lines in the line reference his idea to try and get clean.
the stereo's playing the same old songs
but we still hum along
Even though all of him and his friends have gone their separate ways, they still have some old things they fall back on to keep in some contact.
and in no time we'll be spread
across the earth
donning business suits to show
the faceless master what we're worth
from our huggies to armani
and it all seems so rehearsed
In the end he figures that they all end up in the same place. With some suit and tie profession, showing off the money they made trying to keep up with public image. Wether they are parents or buisness men he feels that it's all fake and that people are leading false lives by conforming. Which is kind of an unfinished way of finishing the song but it is meant to be listened to with the rest of the album. It was his was of telling us his struggles through drugs, struggles with his sexuality, and his religion. Unfortunately though Max is still struggling with drugs...But I hear he did finally decide to go with treatment. Anyways! That's what I pulled out of it.
"it is my birthday it is a new year i should be happy that i am still here light up a new joint put on an old shirt try to remember forget how my brain works"
He realizes he's getting older, so he turns to what's familiar. Drugs, clothes.. He's trying to be happy about moving on but he's turning to his past. And the reference isn't about weed. It's about heroin. We all know Max Bemis was addicted to Heroin, don't deny it... He's spent many times in and out of treatment facilities for it. BTW youngings, heroin can be smoked. And yes! Even in a joint form! There is a chance that it was about weed. I honestly think that it was written in reference to heroin, especially considering the fact that a short time later The Church Channel was released, which is about his time in a treatment facility. Anyways...
but i could read a book a night before this year i knew every word their definitions clear but now in stealth i check thesaurus it's become my guilty mistress
He's talking about he used to be quite smart, but he's resorted to using a thesaurus to help him seem smarter than he is to cover his drug use.
it is my birthday i've got all my friends here they haven't been talking as of lately they've all found new bro's and babies i have smoked away my pride there is nothing but the cinders of it inside but i believed in more than nothingness last year and under every quiet failure it's still here buried breathing under 18 years of tragedy and fear if i could crawl my way out of this grave just think of all the time i'd save
He threw a party gathering all his friends, only to realize they've moved on from him while he's been on drugs. He realizes his drugs have destroyed himself and his friendships, but he hasn't lost touch with his dreams and goals. The last two lines in the line reference his idea to try and get clean.
the stereo's playing the same old songs but we still hum along
Even though all of him and his friends have gone their separate ways, they still have some old things they fall back on to keep in some contact.
and in no time we'll be spread across the earth donning business suits to show the faceless master what we're worth from our huggies to armani and it all seems so rehearsed
In the end he figures that they all end up in the same place. With some suit and tie profession, showing off the money they made trying to keep up with public image. Wether they are parents or buisness men he feels that it's all fake and that people are leading false lives by conforming. Which is kind of an unfinished way of finishing the song but it is meant to be listened to with the rest of the album. It was his was of telling us his struggles through drugs, struggles with his sexuality, and his religion. Unfortunately though Max is still struggling with drugs...But I hear he did finally decide to go with treatment. Anyways! That's what I pulled out of it.