Holding Down the Laughter

I took this off Kevin Devine's Facebook page, in a post called 5.19.10, for what it's worth.

Styrofoam cup of mud in my good hand Disembodied voice of God in the trash can Eyes in the ashes, feeling for the future Sleeping through the stake out, researching the rumor A mile, a motor, a mattress, a memory At first you were embarrassed But how could you not be? Tangled and teenaged, her mom at the movies Your voice ran out of words It was awkward and holy

The gospel in your belly The ache a little lower Back into the breach You spoke as its owner A syndicated sermon you sang from the rafters An anchor in your pocket Holding down the laughter Tearing up your mind Your lust and your ego A screenshot reminder to speed your libido The parish goes to jelly Blissful and wasted Your Vishnu eye slips open And pictures them naked

In complicating your worst mixed message You built then burnt a bridge Then scattered all your crumbs at the cliff "If she wants me, she'll swim for it"

Brother, can you spare your alms or your arrows The thunderclaps are rising and I think that I should go home To the basement back on Jumel Street 1996 and you're waiting there to tell me "I never died - you dreamt it, you dreamt it I am as alive as your best good intentions I'm sorry that I tricked you but you had to focus Put yourself together and clear out the garbage"

But for all that effort That slow burn struggle You forgot where you lived She swept away the clues from the cliff You're lost now Remember it She swept away the clues from the cliff So you're lost Now, remember it.