This song is a powerful reality of what many women go through. It is a viscous cycle of violence that often originated with trauma in childhood (but doesn't have to). I counsel women who have been abused and they often will pick out men who will abuse them again. There are many factors to it, but one major aspect is if they have not worked through and grieved the pain of the abuse they are destined to repeat it. They have no respect for themselves, thus seek out the creeps who will confirm their low self concept. Their tolerance for taking compliments is often amazingly low, where their tolerance for taking criticism is amazingly high. I had one client save voicemails of her ex-boyfriend cussing her out and calling her names, whereas when she got a nice card from a friend she would quickly throw it away.
If you are finding yourself in this cycle, I plead with you to find some help. Someone who can gently lead you through what you are doing to yourself. You are worth so much more, and there really is help.
The man (in this song, at least) is not the only one at fault here, you cannot have a "fight" on your own. "Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano" read in between the lines, it's a mutually destructive relationship.
The man (in this song, at least) is not the only one at fault here, you cannot have a "fight" on your own. "Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano" read in between the lines, it's a mutually destructive relationship.
Sexism works both ways, lots of men are abused in relationships too, it's just not as well publicized; in addition there are mutually abusive relationships. And that's not an excuse from an abusive man, it's just true.
Sexism works both ways, lots of men are abused in relationships too, it's just not as well publicized; in addition there are mutually abusive relationships. And that's not an excuse from an abusive man, it's just true.
I'm not denying that male on female domestic violence might be more common, but don't over generalize.
I'm not denying that male on female domestic violence might be more common, but don't over generalize.
Honestly, this may be about a relationship where a girl is getting abused, but in the video and in the words it seems as if the relationship is abusive on both sides. And as a girl who was in an... unhealthy relationship, I can say that as much as is it often the man taking the role of abuser, there are cases where it's women who throw the first punch.
Honestly, this may be about a relationship where a girl is getting abused, but in the video and in the words it seems as if the relationship is abusive on both sides. And as a girl who was in an... unhealthy relationship, I can say that as much as is it often the man taking the role of abuser, there are cases where it's women who throw the first punch.
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em
So lost in the moments...
Now you're in each other's face
Spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em
You push, pull each other's hair
Scratch, claw, bit 'em
Throw 'em down, pin 'em
So lost in the moments when you're in 'em
It's the rage that took over
It controls you both
So they say it best to go your separate ways
Right here, he's not negating his own anger and violence, but subtly suggesting hers as well in a way that doesn't suggest the blame game but the truth. "It's the rage that took over, It controls you both." This is a song about two completely disfunctional, angry people in a relationship together.
Damn, guys, there's no need to be so rude. I'm sure mhbuddy was commenting on the most common type of abuse in relationships. No shit it "takes two", that's obvious. But mhbuddy didn't say anything about one gender being at fault more than the other. Read a comment before you complain. JUST SAYIN'.
Damn, guys, there's no need to be so rude. I'm sure mhbuddy was commenting on the most common type of abuse in relationships. No shit it "takes two", that's obvious. But mhbuddy didn't say anything about one gender being at fault more than the other. Read a comment before you complain. JUST SAYIN'.
They are responding to MY comment, not mhbuddy and I stand by what I said. Eminem is using the abusive tactic of "blaming the victim" in this song, plain and simple.
They are responding to MY comment, not mhbuddy and I stand by what I said. Eminem is using the abusive tactic of "blaming the victim" in this song, plain and simple.
At least America only has a rate of 1 in 3 women being abused by their husband or boyfriend. In most countries it is 50%. From the stats I've seen 1 in 10 men are abused, almost all of which overlap with the 1 in 3 women. Who do you think gets it worse in these cases.
At least America only has a rate of 1 in 3 women being abused by their husband or boyfriend. In most countries it is 50%. From the stats I've seen 1 in 10 men are abused, almost all of which overlap with the 1 in 3 women. Who do you think gets it worse in these cases.
I am not saying it DOESN'T happen to men as well, but I am saying that when...
I am not saying it DOESN'T happen to men as well, but I am saying that when it does happen to men the woman is getting worse. Furthermore, I am suggesting that this song does not simply describe the cycle of abuse -- it plays the role within that cycle of "blaming the victim" and telling the woman that she shares in the blame for the man's actions and deserves what she gets.
Who cares who gets abused more? It's pretty sad when a post generates so much male-female competition over ABUSE. I'm pretty sure the bottom line is that it takes a weak person to stay in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, and it takes an even weaker man to stay in a relationship with a woman who is "abusing" him (much emphasis on the quotations here). Anyway, just enjoy the awesomeness that is Marshall Mathers.
Who cares who gets abused more? It's pretty sad when a post generates so much male-female competition over ABUSE. I'm pretty sure the bottom line is that it takes a weak person to stay in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, and it takes an even weaker man to stay in a relationship with a woman who is "abusing" him (much emphasis on the quotations here). Anyway, just enjoy the awesomeness that is Marshall Mathers.
P.S. Why is there even people commenting on here about the meaning of a song that is blatantly obvious?
P.S. Why is there even people commenting on here about the meaning of a song that is blatantly obvious?
This song is a powerful reality of what many women go through. It is a viscous cycle of violence that often originated with trauma in childhood (but doesn't have to). I counsel women who have been abused and they often will pick out men who will abuse them again. There are many factors to it, but one major aspect is if they have not worked through and grieved the pain of the abuse they are destined to repeat it. They have no respect for themselves, thus seek out the creeps who will confirm their low self concept. Their tolerance for taking compliments is often amazingly low, where their tolerance for taking criticism is amazingly high. I had one client save voicemails of her ex-boyfriend cussing her out and calling her names, whereas when she got a nice card from a friend she would quickly throw it away.
If you are finding yourself in this cycle, I plead with you to find some help. Someone who can gently lead you through what you are doing to yourself. You are worth so much more, and there really is help.
The man (in this song, at least) is not the only one at fault here, you cannot have a "fight" on your own. "Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano" read in between the lines, it's a mutually destructive relationship.
The man (in this song, at least) is not the only one at fault here, you cannot have a "fight" on your own. "Maybe that's what happens when a tornado meets a volcano" read in between the lines, it's a mutually destructive relationship.
This is called "blaming the victim." It is something abusive men do to maintain control over their girlfriend/wife.
This is called "blaming the victim." It is something abusive men do to maintain control over their girlfriend/wife.
Sexism works both ways, lots of men are abused in relationships too, it's just not as well publicized; in addition there are mutually abusive relationships. And that's not an excuse from an abusive man, it's just true.
Sexism works both ways, lots of men are abused in relationships too, it's just not as well publicized; in addition there are mutually abusive relationships. And that's not an excuse from an abusive man, it's just true.
I'm not denying that male on female domestic violence might be more common, but don't over generalize.
I'm not denying that male on female domestic violence might be more common, but don't over generalize.
Honestly, this may be about a relationship where a girl is getting abused, but in the video and in the words it seems as if the relationship is abusive on both sides. And as a girl who was in an... unhealthy relationship, I can say that as much as is it often the man taking the role of abuser, there are cases where it's women who throw the first punch.
Honestly, this may be about a relationship where a girl is getting abused, but in the video and in the words it seems as if the relationship is abusive on both sides. And as a girl who was in an... unhealthy relationship, I can say that as much as is it often the man taking the role of abuser, there are cases where it's women who throw the first punch.
Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em You push, pull each other's hair Scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down, pin 'em So lost in the moments...
Now you're in each other's face Spewing venom in your words when you spit 'em You push, pull each other's hair Scratch, claw, bit 'em Throw 'em down, pin 'em So lost in the moments when you're in 'em It's the rage that took over It controls you both So they say it best to go your separate ways
Right here, he's not negating his own anger and violence, but subtly suggesting hers as well in a way that doesn't suggest the blame game but the truth. "It's the rage that took over, It controls you both." This is a song about two completely disfunctional, angry people in a relationship together.
Damn, guys, there's no need to be so rude. I'm sure mhbuddy was commenting on the most common type of abuse in relationships. No shit it "takes two", that's obvious. But mhbuddy didn't say anything about one gender being at fault more than the other. Read a comment before you complain. JUST SAYIN'.
Damn, guys, there's no need to be so rude. I'm sure mhbuddy was commenting on the most common type of abuse in relationships. No shit it "takes two", that's obvious. But mhbuddy didn't say anything about one gender being at fault more than the other. Read a comment before you complain. JUST SAYIN'.
They are responding to MY comment, not mhbuddy and I stand by what I said. Eminem is using the abusive tactic of "blaming the victim" in this song, plain and simple.
They are responding to MY comment, not mhbuddy and I stand by what I said. Eminem is using the abusive tactic of "blaming the victim" in this song, plain and simple.
At least America only has a rate of 1 in 3 women being abused by their husband or boyfriend. In most countries it is 50%. From the stats I've seen 1 in 10 men are abused, almost all of which overlap with the 1 in 3 women. Who do you think gets it worse in these cases.
At least America only has a rate of 1 in 3 women being abused by their husband or boyfriend. In most countries it is 50%. From the stats I've seen 1 in 10 men are abused, almost all of which overlap with the 1 in 3 women. Who do you think gets it worse in these cases.
I am not saying it DOESN'T happen to men as well, but I am saying that when...
I am not saying it DOESN'T happen to men as well, but I am saying that when it does happen to men the woman is getting worse. Furthermore, I am suggesting that this song does not simply describe the cycle of abuse -- it plays the role within that cycle of "blaming the victim" and telling the woman that she shares in the blame for the man's actions and deserves what she gets.
Who cares who gets abused more? It's pretty sad when a post generates so much male-female competition over ABUSE. I'm pretty sure the bottom line is that it takes a weak person to stay in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, and it takes an even weaker man to stay in a relationship with a woman who is "abusing" him (much emphasis on the quotations here). Anyway, just enjoy the awesomeness that is Marshall Mathers.
Who cares who gets abused more? It's pretty sad when a post generates so much male-female competition over ABUSE. I'm pretty sure the bottom line is that it takes a weak person to stay in a relationship with someone who is abusing you, and it takes an even weaker man to stay in a relationship with a woman who is "abusing" him (much emphasis on the quotations here). Anyway, just enjoy the awesomeness that is Marshall Mathers.
P.S. Why is there even people commenting on here about the meaning of a song that is blatantly obvious?
P.S. Why is there even people commenting on here about the meaning of a song that is blatantly obvious?