We have a similar saying in the Southern U.S.: "If the shoe fits..." The idea is that we have to accept the truth about someone, no matter how it contradicts our perception of them, in this case, a supposed friend who is doing us harm. The shoe, or the cap, is like evidence from a crime. I don't want to believe that my betrayer is among the people with whom I am eating and drinking, the people who know my deepest secrets, or even my closest friend. But that is how a traitor operates, and the people closest to me are best positioned to rip me off, sell me out, or otherwise exploit me, enjoying my hospitality and playing the part of "friend" while at the same time destroying me when my back is turned. Think Judas, or "Et tu, Brute," or Lee Scratch Perry, whom the Wailers never forgave for selling the rights to their recordings without consulting them. If we are being harmed by a friend, spouse, etc, the evidence is likely available to us (the cap, the shoe, the footprint, the lipstick on the collar, the toilet seat left up, etc.), but we are blinded by our love for the person and refuse to see it. We are in denial. We don't want to believe someone we love and trust is betraying us, but if the evidence points to them, if the cap fits, then we must accept the truth, no matter how heart-breaking, and swallow the bitter pill, the life lesson of betrayal.
We have a similar saying in the Southern U.S.: "If the shoe fits..." The idea is that we have to accept the truth about someone, no matter how it contradicts our perception of them, in this case, a supposed friend who is doing us harm. The shoe, or the cap, is like evidence from a crime. I don't want to believe that my betrayer is among the people with whom I am eating and drinking, the people who know my deepest secrets, or even my closest friend. But that is how a traitor operates, and the people closest to me are best positioned to rip me off, sell me out, or otherwise exploit me, enjoying my hospitality and playing the part of "friend" while at the same time destroying me when my back is turned. Think Judas, or "Et tu, Brute," or Lee Scratch Perry, whom the Wailers never forgave for selling the rights to their recordings without consulting them. If we are being harmed by a friend, spouse, etc, the evidence is likely available to us (the cap, the shoe, the footprint, the lipstick on the collar, the toilet seat left up, etc.), but we are blinded by our love for the person and refuse to see it. We are in denial. We don't want to believe someone we love and trust is betraying us, but if the evidence points to them, if the cap fits, then we must accept the truth, no matter how heart-breaking, and swallow the bitter pill, the life lesson of betrayal.
Great answer - I had some difficulty in getting my head round this idiom.
Great answer - I had some difficulty in getting my head round this idiom.
Well put... This is so true, and it really does happen to everyone. Nowadays Im teaching my teens about Friends being their worse enemies..
Well put... This is so true, and it really does happen to everyone. Nowadays Im teaching my teens about Friends being their worse enemies..