He was in love with a fantasy; he put this woman on a pedestal as his ideal ("You're all that I ever desired"). He is inevitably disappointed, because he cannot fit her in the "space that I provide you" (the fantasy). He even begins to disdain her a bit ("I could laugh in your face if I wanted to").
He also is scared of being vulnerable & losing his identity with her ("Oh yes I'll keep you and I'll throw myself away"), so he chooses to push her away when things get too close, to protect himself ("Still I'll kill you in the end / when it seems that it's getting too soft").
He's too coward to end the relationship himself or to express his feelings ("I couldn't make a sentence"), so instead the relationship dies slowly ("see it squirming, almost dead"). Then as the relationship finally ends, he of course realizes he still needs/wants her, but is too proud to admit it now ("and I'll curse my pride").
The conflict of feeling is interesting. He wants/needs her, but is scared of the real relationship & has a fear of losing his independence/identity as well as giving up on the fantasy. He chooses the fantasy, and rejects the reality, but has bitterness with himself over his own fickleness, because deep down he still wants/needs her, & he blew it.
He was in love with a fantasy; he put this woman on a pedestal as his ideal ("You're all that I ever desired"). He is inevitably disappointed, because he cannot fit her in the "space that I provide you" (the fantasy). He even begins to disdain her a bit ("I could laugh in your face if I wanted to").
He also is scared of being vulnerable & losing his identity with her ("Oh yes I'll keep you and I'll throw myself away"), so he chooses to push her away when things get too close, to protect himself ("Still I'll kill you in the end / when it seems that it's getting too soft").
He's too coward to end the relationship himself or to express his feelings ("I couldn't make a sentence"), so instead the relationship dies slowly ("see it squirming, almost dead"). Then as the relationship finally ends, he of course realizes he still needs/wants her, but is too proud to admit it now ("and I'll curse my pride").
The conflict of feeling is interesting. He wants/needs her, but is scared of the real relationship & has a fear of losing his independence/identity as well as giving up on the fantasy. He chooses the fantasy, and rejects the reality, but has bitterness with himself over his own fickleness, because deep down he still wants/needs her, & he blew it.