By Myself

The () is my interpreation

What do I do to ignore what's behind me? (He knows that he worries too much about what they think about him, and he don’t know how to ignore theirs opinion, so he just like everyone else tries to fit in)

Do I follow my instincts blindly? (He knows that he just let his emotions, fears and worries take control of him, and he knows that he has to deny himself to be a part of the carousel)

Do I hide my pride away from these bad dreams And give in to sad thoughts that are maddening? (He’s afraid that if he is laidback and go through his pain and is himself a bit more that it will makes him feel that it’s harder to put on the facade again, ´cause the more he goes through the pain the less energy and will he has to put on his daily façade to deny himself, so he doesn’t want to heal himself completely or else he just going to be wrapped up thinking about the pain he caused himself and not be able to forgive himself)

Do I let it go and try to stand it? (He’s afraid that the pain will be so huge that he will not be able to go through it, ´cause he’s already so used to being in denial and set his real emotions on fire so he can at least have a little fun without being himself, he wants to be flawless) Or do I try to catch them red handed? Do I trust some and get fooled by phoniness, (He’s afraid that if he trust someone with all his real thoughts and go through his real pain that they are just going to use his insecurity and then ditch him, he should know that if they did that, they ditch him ´cause they have the same pain as he does, and that they are ditching him to conceal their own pain)

Or do I trust nobody and live in loneliness? (So he wonders if he have to go through the pain by himself without any other involved even though he wants someone with him ´cause he’s afraid of going through all that by himself)

Cause I can’t hold when I'm stretched so thin (He feels like he’s afraid of being himself on his own, ´cause he don’t like who he really is, that’s why feels like it easier to most of the time deny himself)

I make the right moves but I’m lost within (He knows that everyone thinks he do the right things, he gets popular for it but he still have the same pain and worry and lack of independent inside of him)

I put on my daily facade but then I just end up getting hurt again (He feels like it’s sad that he needs to put on a daily façade to be appreciated by others)

By myself I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself (He realize that he’s afraid of going through it all alone, therefore it’s obvious that he can’t even accept himself and don’t want to acknowledge himself, and that what worries him, he leaves himself completely to please others and that’s because he needs others)

I can’t hold on To what I want when I’m stretched so thin
It’s all too much to take in (He feels like when he’s by himself, it’s all too much to take in, it’s like going from his daily façade, his dream personality, to his raw, ugly form, and when he sees his raw form, he once again wants to leave, ´cause he can’t let his illusion of his perfect self go, so he doesn’t know how to change himself, but in his mind he knows that he may be can be independent by going through himself and the pain, but he’s afraid of doing that, ´cause he feels like no one else is doing that and he feels like its too much burden to carry the truth on his shoulders)

I can’t hold on To anything watching everything spin (He feels like he just follow the stream and watches everything spin)

With thoughts of failure sinking in (He wonders if peoples going to found out how he really feels and is)

If I turn my back I’m defenseless (He feels like he´s defenseless if he shows his real self to others, if he shows his vulnerability in front of his friends, and he’s afraid that they will hurt him)

And to give in to fate seems senseless (He’s afraid of losing control and let things be as they are, and he’s afraid that fate will let him down)

If I hide my pride and let it all go on then they’ll Take from me till everything is gone (He’s afraid that if he shows his vulnerability and his feelings that they will reject him and makes him more vulnerable than he was before, and if he get a rejection from them, he will be alone, and he’s afraid of being alone)

If I let them go I’ll be outdone (He knows that if he let things be, he would care less about them, he won the deeper level but lost everything else)

But if I try to catch them I’ll be outrun (If he tries to fit in with them again he knows that they will reject him for the rest of their life’s)

If I’m killed by the questions like a cancer Then I’ll be buried in the silence of the answer (This can mean two things: One; They will not letting him go and tries to control him and tries to bury him mentally ´cause he has all the answers, Two; He consider to kill himself, his raw form, bury the answers and sell his soul so he can be with others)

By myself I ask why, but in my mind I find I can’t rely on myself (He realize that he’s afraid of going through it all alone, therefore it’s obvious that he can’t even accept himself and don’t want to acknowledge himself, and that what worries him, he leaves himself completely to please others and that’s because he needs others)

I can’t hold on To what I want when I’m stretched so thin It’s all too much to take in (He feels like when he’s by himself, it’s all too much to take in, it’s like going from his daily façade, his dream personality, to his raw, ugly form, and when he sees his raw form, he once again wants to leave, ´cause he can’t let his illusion of his perfect self go, so he doesn’t know how to change himself, but in his mind he knows that he may be can be independent by going through himself and the pain, but he’s afraid of doing that, ´cause he feels like no one else is doing that and he feels like its too much burden to carry the truth on his shoulders)

I can’t hold on To anything watching everything spin (He feels like he just follow the stream and watches everything spin)

With thoughts of failure sinking in (He wonders if peoples going to found out how he really feels and is)

How do you think I’ve lost so much (He can’t lose anything but himself, ´cause he sacrifices himself)

I’m so afraid that I’m out of touch How do you expect I will know what to do When all I know is what you tell me to (He doesn’t know how to do, so he do what other people do)

Don’t you know I can’t tell you how to make it go (He is frustrated that he doesn’t know how to feel better)

No matter what I do, how hard I try I can’t seem to convince myself why (He can’t go away from his daily facade)

I’m stuck on the outside (x2) (so he’s stuck on the outside, ´cause he refuse to deal with his inner problems)