Two Against Nature

Two Against Nature is essentially Steely Dan's clever version of "Bad To The Bone."

The "Two Against Nature" in the song are literally Walter and Donald. They're saying "that by the fact of our being artists and cognizant that we're in a young person's milieu still trying to get along when we're circa 50 years old, we know you're doing the same and we're making a generous offer to help our listeners with their problems."

Voodoo and demon references are modern, young peoples hip music. And maybe the fact that this music is popular seems like evil voodoo magic to all of us pushing middle age...

Donald and Walter offer to use their badass music as a cure to help us middle-aged geezers battle the demons of vapid modern music.

Bad news breaking in 18A Missy's kitty turn inside out she say Spider queen demon and that whole crew Across the lobby the wicker wing chair flew All the nice people those goodly souls Quaking in their respective hidey-holes Everyone's wasted in this gruesome dream Not a one of them left to hear you scream

Literally Missy's pet cat was found dead, turned inside out, sacrificed in a voodoo ritual. A bunch of nice people watch horrified as (voodoo queen or voodoo spirit) Spider Queen Demon and her gang kill everybody (a good bunch of scared folks who didn't deserve it,) except you. You watch horrified and screaming.

Meaning 18A is a movie rating, which means you have to be 18 or older to view the movie. So he's talking about the bad news breaking with the 18ish crowd. Maybe suggesting that young people are under the voodoo spell of bad music.

"Spider Queen Demon and that whole crew" I think refers to any of the modern pop crap bands like Brittany/Miley/Lady GaGa. "Middle-aged you" watches her concert, full of good people. You are horrified and screaming at how terrible the music is. But she "knocks 'em dead" (they love her and her crappy music.) You're left with noone on your wavelength.

CHORUS: Two against nature don't you know Who's gonna grok the shape of things to go Two against nature make them groan Who's gonna break the shape of things unknown

Meaning We (Walter and Donald) understand (grok) the future of music, we're underestimated but we're in control, and we're going to break the mold (of crappy modern music.)

Madame Erzulie she come last night Bang you silly but leave a nasty bite There on your nightstand much worse than that Panatela and old black derby hat

Meaning Erzulie is the Voodoo goddess of love and sex.

A Panatela and derby hat is the sign of Voodoo spirit Baron Samedi. Baron Samedi is the spirit the dead. He is also the spirit of sex and resurrection. He is often called upon for healing by those near or approaching death

Baron Samedi also is depicted as someone who crosses gender boundaries, either through cross-dressing or by bisexuality.

So, you met a girl, she fcked you silly and gave you a hickey. You wake up and realize the girl you think you fcked last night was actually a guy ...

These are midlife crisis references. A one night stand that was a great idea last night that you thought would make you young again. You wake up the next morning and realize it was a futile attempt to resurrect your youth (Baron Samedi reference.) In the meantime maybe you accidentally slept with a guy in the process.

Call your doctor - call your shrink Western science she strictly rinkydink They all masissi but we hang tough Apsatively gonna help you beat that stuff

Meaning Masissi is a derogative Creole term for homosexuals. Basically, massisi is how you say "faggot" in Creole.

You can call your doctor or psychiatrist if you want, but Western Science cant help you with this problem because they're all faggots compared to us (Walter and Donald) and our powers. We're tough and we have what you need to beat your problem.

They use the voodoo term massisi - which lends credibility that not only are they tough, but also that they understand the enemy (modern crap music) in an intimate way.

CHORUS: Two against nature tan and lean Puttin' big heat on skanky things unseen Two against nature slinging dread These boys wanna bang the skulls of things undead

Meaning We're badasses, we're in shape for the fight, and we're going to push back at the voodoo demons of crap music. Oh and by the way, they fear us.

T-Bone Angie she champion liar Sew the mouth shut with rusty chicken wire Brother Lou Garue and the Jerry Garry Sprinkling chicken water gonna hush all three Beautiful housewife in deep distress 'Specially you deserve our very best Two against nature they got that stuff Good things happening when you see about us

Meaning Cool voodoo imagery. Here Donald and Walter start telling us exactly the (musical) tools they have to battle these demons. They particularly they prefer helping beautiful housewives.

CHORUS: Two against nature love this gig Pull up the weeds before they're too damn big Two against nature stand alone Who's gonna chase the shape of things unknown Two against nature don't you know Who's gonna drop the boom on things to go Two against nature make them groan Gonna go bang-zoom to the moon on things unknown

Meaning We love what we're doing. We're beating the enemy before they get too strong. We're strong enough to stand alone against the enemy and chase them. And sometimes our music (and our silly lyrics) makes them groan.

Scrape the wallboards the whole damn batch Catch the maggoty eggs before they hatch Pepper and ratbone make damn sure Shake the rubbish out on the patio floor Soak the timber with special spray Nuke the itty bitty ones right where they lay Whip the bastards while they still green Take the firemop - sweep it kissing clean

Meaning These are pest control metaphors.

More of Walter and Donald telling us about the specific (musical) tools in their arsenal to battle the crap music demons.

Or maybe some instructions on how to deal with the crabs you got from Madame Erzulie :)