I'm screwing college freshmen
and desperate housewives
Could it be I'm stuck dead center between my teens and my thirties?
Envisioning how my children would look if I had 'em with the woman in the checkout line in front of me
Maybe they'd look like my last girlfriend
19, English major, Diet Cokehead
Treats me more like a big brother helping with homework
But I see her like a mother
My head on her chest, her hand on my shoulder
Me and my friends are all waiting for something
But we don't know what it is
Say are you my friend? I only know one thing
But I don't know what it is
But I was too into her
I had to get out
I needed someone my age who could talk about campaign finance reform
And the Velvet Underground
Well the truth is,
I can't stand Lou Reed
But there's something noble about dating women you're not attracted to, right?
Or fucking men when you're straight, right?
It's that, "Wow, I'm a 21st century dude
Unlike my father who pronounces vegan 'vaygan' and voted for Reagan and is so old"
Me and my friends are all waiting for something
But we don't know what it is
Say are you my friend? I only know one thing
But I don't know what it is
I don't know what it is
Well the truth is
I feel age creepin' on me real slow and quiet like
Like a freight train made of screaming babies
So me n my friendz drink like fishies to reduce the IMPACT
Self-medicating through anonymous sex
And the occasional hungover moment of insight
Spoken aloud when no one's listening
Walking home with a headache and smoky hair
So I check my sent messages
To see who I'm in love with
And it turns out it's you this week
Congratulations, girl
We could get Japanese food or coffee
Dip our hands in culture
Before we put 'em on each other
Man, I don't know what love is but I wanna find out, Hey!
I don't know, no
I wanna fall in love
But I don't know what it is
I'm screwing college freshmen and desperate housewives Could it be I'm stuck dead center between my teens and my thirties? Envisioning how my children would look if I had 'em with the woman in the checkout line in front of me Maybe they'd look like my last girlfriend 19, English major, Diet Cokehead Treats me more like a big brother helping with homework But I see her like a mother My head on her chest, her hand on my shoulder
Me and my friends are all waiting for something But we don't know what it is Say are you my friend? I only know one thing But I don't know what it is
But I was too into her I had to get out I needed someone my age who could talk about campaign finance reform And the Velvet Underground Well the truth is, I can't stand Lou Reed But there's something noble about dating women you're not attracted to, right? Or fucking men when you're straight, right? It's that, "Wow, I'm a 21st century dude Unlike my father who pronounces vegan 'vaygan' and voted for Reagan and is so old"
Me and my friends are all waiting for something But we don't know what it is Say are you my friend? I only know one thing But I don't know what it is I don't know what it is
Well the truth is I feel age creepin' on me real slow and quiet like Like a freight train made of screaming babies So me n my friendz drink like fishies to reduce the IMPACT Self-medicating through anonymous sex And the occasional hungover moment of insight Spoken aloud when no one's listening Walking home with a headache and smoky hair So I check my sent messages To see who I'm in love with And it turns out it's you this week Congratulations, girl We could get Japanese food or coffee Dip our hands in culture Before we put 'em on each other Man, I don't know what love is but I wanna find out, Hey! I don't know, no I wanna fall in love But I don't know what it is