On Death & Endearments Lyrics

Lyric discussion by JustPlainNJ 

Cover art for On Death & Endearments lyrics by Parenthetical Girls

that first line after the first chorus is really tricky. I want to hear "...at half a mind to just apologize," but that could be wrong.

I'm pretty sure about these though:

so how I CHOSE and choose to make USE OF this life allotted me

and each played to ME begrudging accessory

these TERMS of my demise

in DAYS less dignified PANDERING'S the one thing

PRIDEFUL progeny

and I, though sometimes weak still shudder to keep this secrets we keep

for their sake let me stay

to you WHOM I confide