He's alone, without is wife/love, thinking about how he either lost her or almost lost her.
And he realizes people don't "make love" to one another, but it's a transaction. It's a give and take. We have a finite amount of love to give, and if we give it all to someone who isn't for us, we won't have any left. It makes him panic to think about how close he was to loosing the one he had given all his love to.
He's alone, without is wife/love, thinking about how he either lost her or almost lost her. And he realizes people don't "make love" to one another, but it's a transaction. It's a give and take. We have a finite amount of love to give, and if we give it all to someone who isn't for us, we won't have any left. It makes him panic to think about how close he was to loosing the one he had given all his love to.