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I think instead of: "you slipped away past the fog and the fire like I saw the footsteps cut out of the ash"
that it is: "You slipped away past the fog and the FIRE LIGHT I saw the footsteps cut out of the ash"
and also "and I passed the fields we were racing the sun" should be "and out past the fields we were racing the sun"
I think instead of: "you slipped away past the fog and the fire like I saw the footsteps cut out of the ash"
that it is: "You slipped away past the fog and the FIRE LIGHT I saw the footsteps cut out of the ash"
and also "and I passed the fields we were racing the sun" should be "and out past the fields we were racing the sun"