i didn't know what a brute i was
i dipped my cigarette and rode the bus
vengeance built me hastily
and i dragged the clanging notion
i was nobody, nobody
nobody
all i had was my invention
and my love invented all of you
oh look what thoughts can do
what thoughts can do
if you're not by now dead and buried
you're most certifiably married
oh married
i'm sure you're sleeping sound
with the mistress of the hours
the hours that grind your life to dust
your easy loves you keep like pets
denied them, you are powerless
whatever keeps you sleeping through the night
i'm not the man you thought i was
my love has never lived indoors
i had to drag it home by force
hired hounds at both my wrists
damp and bruised by strangers' kisses on my lips
but you're the one that i still miss
you're the one that i still miss
and it's ruthless that it comes as no surprise
i'm not the man you think i am
i'm not the man you think i am
[From Neko's site]
I love this song. I've always interpreted it as a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. Everyone has that "one that got away", and this is a song about accepting that the person you've been in love with all this time really isn't as great as you remember. Hence "My love invented all of you", and "you're the one that I still miss/But its ruthless that it comes as no surprise". Almost as if she finally reconnected with this man and all of those years of wondering came crashing down. I also love the undertone of self-awareness, in the line "I dragged the clanging notion I was nobody, nobody, nobody." Kind of realizing that all this time you've thought so low of yourself that how could you have loved or been loved.
I also like the idea of it being about a tomboy in love- "I'm not the man you think I am". Like she's saying, I do have feelings under this tough exterior. And the description of how she's loved int he past- "My love has never lived indoors"- through that entire stanza. She's always had these rough, unsatisfactory affairs, and she isn't what this man wanted. She isn't an "easy love". But all she wants is a love that can be peaceful and fit with her, and that's who she thought this man was- but in the end it wasn't to be. It all boils down to acceptance and realization- she's moving forward. She's growing. But it still sucks, it's still painful. But it's getting better.
this song has a sort of renewed significance to me right now. it is certainly, as you sapd, a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. lately, i sometimes think about how this person probably really wasn't/isn't all that i made them out to be... or "the one," so to speak.
this song has a sort of renewed significance to me right now. it is certainly, as you sapd, a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. lately, i sometimes think about how this person probably really wasn't/isn't all that i made them out to be... or "the one," so to speak.
it's funny because with other situations and people, i generally look at every side from every angle, almost to a fault... because it often leaves me indecisive, and unable to judge. but, when it comes to my own perspective, i think i have the tendency to neglect, or forget, the possibility that maybe expectations and reality never actually meet. like, maybe my ideas of love and what that's supposed to mean, or how that's supposed to feel, are not necessarily... how things really work.
also, i think that i, however inadvertently, use certain people and things to fulfill certain roles (similar to the way we all interpret song lyrics differently, depending on how we relate to them, what they mean to us, what we want them to mean). oh, look what thoughts can do :) there seems to be no such thing as true objectivity, and so this applies to love as well. do we ever love anyone/anything simply for who they are/what it is?? we love what it is to us.
i really like how she says "my love invented all of you," instead of saying "i invented all of you," as if she is somehow separate from her love, or it separate from her.
"I also love the undertone of self-awareness, in the line "I dragged the clanging notion I was nobody, nobody, nobody." Kind of realizing that all this time you've thought so low of yourself that how could you have loved or been loved." -- almost choked up a bit reading this part. hit a bit too close to home, i think. the only thing is that i used to be much different. something happened (well, a lot happened)... and, over time, if you continually think so lowly of yourself, experience what you consider to be failure, think you don't try hard enough, avoid and give up, think that you are stupid, feel that you are not enough, that you barely even exist... eventually, you instill a form of self-defeat. now, i very much understand the undertone of self-awareness that you mentioned. and you become unloveable, and can't allow yourself to love.
finally, i've always found this part interesting: "if you're not by now dead and buried, you're most certifiably married"... as if those are the only options. there's nothing in between. and, maybe there isn't.
"a heavy burden lifted from my soul
i heard that love was out of my control"
-leonard cohen
The lyrics are definitely:
i didn't know what a brute i was i dipped my cigarette and rode the bus vengeance built me hastily and i dragged the clanging notion i was nobody, nobody nobody
all i had was my invention and my love invented all of you oh look what thoughts can do what thoughts can do if you're not by now dead and buried you're most certifiably married oh married
i'm sure you're sleeping sound with the mistress of the hours the hours that grind your life to dust your easy loves you keep like pets denied them, you are powerless whatever keeps you sleeping through the night
i'm not the man you thought i was
my love has never lived indoors i had to drag it home by force hired hounds at both my wrists damp and bruised by strangers' kisses on my lips
but you're the one that i still miss you're the one that i still miss and it's ruthless that it comes as no surprise
i'm not the man you think i am i'm not the man you think i am
[From Neko's site]
I love this song. I've always interpreted it as a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. Everyone has that "one that got away", and this is a song about accepting that the person you've been in love with all this time really isn't as great as you remember. Hence "My love invented all of you", and "you're the one that I still miss/But its ruthless that it comes as no surprise". Almost as if she finally reconnected with this man and all of those years of wondering came crashing down. I also love the undertone of self-awareness, in the line "I dragged the clanging notion I was nobody, nobody, nobody." Kind of realizing that all this time you've thought so low of yourself that how could you have loved or been loved.
I also like the idea of it being about a tomboy in love- "I'm not the man you think I am". Like she's saying, I do have feelings under this tough exterior. And the description of how she's loved int he past- "My love has never lived indoors"- through that entire stanza. She's always had these rough, unsatisfactory affairs, and she isn't what this man wanted. She isn't an "easy love". But all she wants is a love that can be peaceful and fit with her, and that's who she thought this man was- but in the end it wasn't to be. It all boils down to acceptance and realization- she's moving forward. She's growing. But it still sucks, it's still painful. But it's getting better.
i like your interpretation quite a lot.
i like your interpretation quite a lot.
this song has a sort of renewed significance to me right now. it is certainly, as you sapd, a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. lately, i sometimes think about how this person probably really wasn't/isn't all that i made them out to be... or "the one," so to speak.
this song has a sort of renewed significance to me right now. it is certainly, as you sapd, a bittersweet remembrance of a love lost. lately, i sometimes think about how this person probably really wasn't/isn't all that i made them out to be... or "the one," so to speak.
it's funny because with other situations and people, i generally look at every side from every angle, almost to a fault... because it often leaves me indecisive, and unable to judge. but, when it comes to my own perspective, i think i have the tendency to neglect, or forget, the possibility that maybe expectations and reality never actually meet. like, maybe my ideas of love and what that's supposed to mean, or how that's supposed to feel, are not necessarily... how things really work.
also, i think that i, however inadvertently, use certain people and things to fulfill certain roles (similar to the way we all interpret song lyrics differently, depending on how we relate to them, what they mean to us, what we want them to mean). oh, look what thoughts can do :) there seems to be no such thing as true objectivity, and so this applies to love as well. do we ever love anyone/anything simply for who they are/what it is?? we love what it is to us.
i really like how she says "my love invented all of you," instead of saying "i invented all of you," as if she is somehow separate from her love, or it separate from her.
"I also love the undertone of self-awareness, in the line "I dragged the clanging notion I was nobody, nobody, nobody." Kind of realizing that all this time you've thought so low of yourself that how could you have loved or been loved." -- almost choked up a bit reading this part. hit a bit too close to home, i think. the only thing is that i used to be much different. something happened (well, a lot happened)... and, over time, if you continually think so lowly of yourself, experience what you consider to be failure, think you don't try hard enough, avoid and give up, think that you are stupid, feel that you are not enough, that you barely even exist... eventually, you instill a form of self-defeat. now, i very much understand the undertone of self-awareness that you mentioned. and you become unloveable, and can't allow yourself to love.
finally, i've always found this part interesting: "if you're not by now dead and buried, you're most certifiably married"... as if those are the only options. there's nothing in between. and, maybe there isn't.
"a heavy burden lifted from my soul i heard that love was out of my control" -leonard cohen
also, i apologize for including all of that in a reply directed only at you. got a little carried away. haha.
also, i apologize for including all of that in a reply directed only at you. got a little carried away. haha.