When I read the first three lines, I feel like maybe Ian was trying to write down or give creedence to things that he thought would help his predicament at the time (depression, infidelity, failing marriage, epilepsy, etc) - that if he had a change of scenery and whatnot, he would feel better. But then, it seems like on the fourth line, he breaks that - so often, depression is made worse by being idle, but in his case, he was VERY occupied - with the band gaining popularity and acclaim, touring all over, a US tour on the horizon... and yet, he forgot that things were looking up, that he was no longer just moping about Manchester, he was a rock star.
It seems like he felt as though he'd tried many different ways of living, being, acting, thinking, etc. ("different colors, different shades") and that he'd bombed-out on all of them ("over each, mistakes were made") and that he had resigned himself to this reality, and the attitude that he was a failure ("I took the blame"). He goes on to repudate anything eariler about things that may help him ("Directionless, so plain to see" / "A loaded gun won't set you free"), and I wonder whether he meant that it was plain to see he was directionless, or it was plain to see that a loaded gun won't set you free. The way that he says "or so you say" in the song after almost seems like he's mocking that attitude that "you" have, and that he feels like suicide would free him - he descends into his depression and seems to almost dare you to prove him wrong.
Then in the next verse, he starts off with a completely different mindset, and again, when you listen to him sing it, it sounds almost like he's trying to push aside those thoughts by thinking about other people, about socializing - almost chummy in a sense. The angry voice and the crying one could be the two emotions he felt in himself... anger and sorrow. People around him try to support him on his rise to fame and respect as an artist ("we'll give you everything and more") but he can't hear or feel anything but his own pain ("this pain's too much, can't take much more," which is about as desperate as it gets). He feels like he's done everything he can to feel alive again and it hasn't worked ("I've walked on water, can't seem to feel it anymore"), and then refers to the part earlier in the song where noted having tried to change, viewing himself in the past: that he felt that doing these things, that getting to where he was with the band or having a tryst with a music journalist or then trying to reconcile and be a husband and father all were things that would get him to where he wanted to be, hoping for something better, and better never came. He never shook the depression that ultimately led him to kill himself.
I totally agree. However, I do have an addition to your interpretation. The line;
"It was me, waiting for me,
Hoping for something more,
Me, seeing me this time, hoping for something else."
I totally agree. However, I do have an addition to your interpretation. The line;
"It was me, waiting for me,
Hoping for something more,
Me, seeing me this time, hoping for something else."
I think, has something to do with the feeling that everyone else was waiting for him to see a brighter day (or make him see the light), and for ones he actually does "hopes for something else".
I think, has something to do with the feeling that everyone else was waiting for him to see a brighter day (or make him see the light), and for ones he actually does "hopes for something else".
When I read the first three lines, I feel like maybe Ian was trying to write down or give creedence to things that he thought would help his predicament at the time (depression, infidelity, failing marriage, epilepsy, etc) - that if he had a change of scenery and whatnot, he would feel better. But then, it seems like on the fourth line, he breaks that - so often, depression is made worse by being idle, but in his case, he was VERY occupied - with the band gaining popularity and acclaim, touring all over, a US tour on the horizon... and yet, he forgot that things were looking up, that he was no longer just moping about Manchester, he was a rock star.
It seems like he felt as though he'd tried many different ways of living, being, acting, thinking, etc. ("different colors, different shades") and that he'd bombed-out on all of them ("over each, mistakes were made") and that he had resigned himself to this reality, and the attitude that he was a failure ("I took the blame"). He goes on to repudate anything eariler about things that may help him ("Directionless, so plain to see" / "A loaded gun won't set you free"), and I wonder whether he meant that it was plain to see he was directionless, or it was plain to see that a loaded gun won't set you free. The way that he says "or so you say" in the song after almost seems like he's mocking that attitude that "you" have, and that he feels like suicide would free him - he descends into his depression and seems to almost dare you to prove him wrong.
Then in the next verse, he starts off with a completely different mindset, and again, when you listen to him sing it, it sounds almost like he's trying to push aside those thoughts by thinking about other people, about socializing - almost chummy in a sense. The angry voice and the crying one could be the two emotions he felt in himself... anger and sorrow. People around him try to support him on his rise to fame and respect as an artist ("we'll give you everything and more") but he can't hear or feel anything but his own pain ("this pain's too much, can't take much more," which is about as desperate as it gets). He feels like he's done everything he can to feel alive again and it hasn't worked ("I've walked on water, can't seem to feel it anymore"), and then refers to the part earlier in the song where noted having tried to change, viewing himself in the past: that he felt that doing these things, that getting to where he was with the band or having a tryst with a music journalist or then trying to reconcile and be a husband and father all were things that would get him to where he wanted to be, hoping for something better, and better never came. He never shook the depression that ultimately led him to kill himself.
I totally agree. However, I do have an addition to your interpretation. The line; "It was me, waiting for me, Hoping for something more, Me, seeing me this time, hoping for something else."
I totally agree. However, I do have an addition to your interpretation. The line; "It was me, waiting for me, Hoping for something more, Me, seeing me this time, hoping for something else."
I think, has something to do with the feeling that everyone else was waiting for him to see a brighter day (or make him see the light), and for ones he actually does "hopes for something else".
I think, has something to do with the feeling that everyone else was waiting for him to see a brighter day (or make him see the light), and for ones he actually does "hopes for something else".