It seems like the character's girlfriend left him or somehow they split, maybe even by death that detail doesn't seem so important. But she helped him so much by being there for him and he felt she helped him with all his deepest troubles. But she fell away and is no longer here. She left him with all his problems and madness and it's too much to handle. Sometimes it's so much he contemplates suicide. He looks back and wonders how much she even cared because now she's gone. He was blinded by love and now thinks wonders if she ever felt the same, now that he can see more clearly.
Maybe.
It seems like the character's girlfriend left him or somehow they split, maybe even by death that detail doesn't seem so important. But she helped him so much by being there for him and he felt she helped him with all his deepest troubles. But she fell away and is no longer here. She left him with all his problems and madness and it's too much to handle. Sometimes it's so much he contemplates suicide. He looks back and wonders how much she even cared because now she's gone. He was blinded by love and now thinks wonders if she ever felt the same, now that he can see more clearly. Maybe.