i agree with paid31.
her little toy gun represents suicide, i think.
really, i think it's mocking people who just brush off suicidal people
as a phase or a way to get back at their parents, rebel, show they have the guts, etc.
by calling it a toy.
but then it goes on to show how serious she actually is about it.
the gun is there when the fighting is over, tempting her or serving as a fallback plan, something to rely on.
"shiny and black, like shoes on a rack, with a trigger that's dressed up in gold." describing the temptation of suicide.
"it's always warm inside my home" to be dead would be a relief, "but its handle is always so cold." but it's easier said than done; when it comes down to it, shooting yourself sure would take guts.
also, the gun is reminding her of all his lies, more temptation.
but she is afraid.
then she's talking about waiting for the day she can go to heaven ("happy home").
but she knows this feeling of hers and this relationship, period is turning her bitter.
she sees it coming, but can't do anything, isn't worried about it.
her way is either committing suicide, which he of course won't like.
or it's just what she's seeing here: the relationship falling apart, her bitterness, etc.
then she says, if you're going to pray, don't pray for this mess;
pray for me, because i need help--
maybe he's being selfish by focusing on the relationship that he can't live without,
instead of her.
i agree with paid31. her little toy gun represents suicide, i think. really, i think it's mocking people who just brush off suicidal people as a phase or a way to get back at their parents, rebel, show they have the guts, etc. by calling it a toy. but then it goes on to show how serious she actually is about it. the gun is there when the fighting is over, tempting her or serving as a fallback plan, something to rely on. "shiny and black, like shoes on a rack, with a trigger that's dressed up in gold." describing the temptation of suicide. "it's always warm inside my home" to be dead would be a relief, "but its handle is always so cold." but it's easier said than done; when it comes down to it, shooting yourself sure would take guts. also, the gun is reminding her of all his lies, more temptation. but she is afraid. then she's talking about waiting for the day she can go to heaven ("happy home"). but she knows this feeling of hers and this relationship, period is turning her bitter. she sees it coming, but can't do anything, isn't worried about it.
her way is either committing suicide, which he of course won't like. or it's just what she's seeing here: the relationship falling apart, her bitterness, etc. then she says, if you're going to pray, don't pray for this mess; pray for me, because i need help-- maybe he's being selfish by focusing on the relationship that he can't live without, instead of her.