people with agoraphobia have panic attacks in public places. they begin to avoid those places which they expect will make them feel more anxious. gradually their "world" gets smaller and smaller, until they refuse to leave home.
we both have it, my mother and I. she will leave home only to a small number of familiar destinations: and even then, only if accompanied by certain trusted people. if these people fail to provide constant reassurance, she becomes disoriented and unpredictable.
being 25 years younger, I haven't yet reached that point. although in recent years I have noticed it's becoming increasingly difficult to leave my apartment, and I must follow time-consuming rituals/compulsions.
self-imposed house arrest. extend this notion farther, making it more and more literal until nothing is "safe" except the space around your body where you will remain until you die. or, what encloses it after death.
I wish it were something I could regard with intellectual curiosity (implying emotional distance). but it's too real.
people with agoraphobia have panic attacks in public places. they begin to avoid those places which they expect will make them feel more anxious. gradually their "world" gets smaller and smaller, until they refuse to leave home.
we both have it, my mother and I. she will leave home only to a small number of familiar destinations: and even then, only if accompanied by certain trusted people. if these people fail to provide constant reassurance, she becomes disoriented and unpredictable.
being 25 years younger, I haven't yet reached that point. although in recent years I have noticed it's becoming increasingly difficult to leave my apartment, and I must follow time-consuming rituals/compulsions.
self-imposed house arrest. extend this notion farther, making it more and more literal until nothing is "safe" except the space around your body where you will remain until you die. or, what encloses it after death.
I wish it were something I could regard with intellectual curiosity (implying emotional distance). but it's too real.
that last part was beautiful. my heart goes out to you, man.
that last part was beautiful. my heart goes out to you, man.