I know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but is a pink cigarette really EVER just a pink cigarette? I don't think it is here, it's a symbol of the speaker's masculinity, which is threatened by his lover's promiscuity and abuse.
She clearly wears the pants in the relationship, alternately ignoring and abusing him. He is penetrated, never penetrator; her lips touch everything--perhaps penetrated by others--but not him; he is touched instead by "a slap on my cheek" and penetrated by her metaphorical cigarette-phallus in the line, "I've been your ashtray." Finally, she abandons him, leaving his useless "pink cigarette" on the bed in a last insult. He needs to take action to reverse the situation, but he is conflicted because he actually desires her abuse: his continual refrain, "Hush me / Touch me" makes the link between his need for attention and repression clear.
His only means of escaping this situation is self-destruction. He can thus fulfill his need to regain his masculinity by debasing others as well as his need to be debased himself. The reference to a "sillhouette" indicates he hangs himself, while the "smoke" indicates immolation. Either way, he is conflicted to the end about his decision. Like many suicides, he fantasizes about her reaction to his death, as in the closing countdown, "There's just X hours left until you'll find me dead." This almost giddy anticipation is balanced, however, by his fear of her gaze: "I'm hoping the smoke / Hides the shame I've got on my face." Deep down he fears that his self-annihilation will not restore his manhood, instead heaping shame on top of shame.
I know sometimes a cigar is just a cigar, but is a pink cigarette really EVER just a pink cigarette? I don't think it is here, it's a symbol of the speaker's masculinity, which is threatened by his lover's promiscuity and abuse.
She clearly wears the pants in the relationship, alternately ignoring and abusing him. He is penetrated, never penetrator; her lips touch everything--perhaps penetrated by others--but not him; he is touched instead by "a slap on my cheek" and penetrated by her metaphorical cigarette-phallus in the line, "I've been your ashtray." Finally, she abandons him, leaving his useless "pink cigarette" on the bed in a last insult. He needs to take action to reverse the situation, but he is conflicted because he actually desires her abuse: his continual refrain, "Hush me / Touch me" makes the link between his need for attention and repression clear.
His only means of escaping this situation is self-destruction. He can thus fulfill his need to regain his masculinity by debasing others as well as his need to be debased himself. The reference to a "sillhouette" indicates he hangs himself, while the "smoke" indicates immolation. Either way, he is conflicted to the end about his decision. Like many suicides, he fantasizes about her reaction to his death, as in the closing countdown, "There's just X hours left until you'll find me dead." This almost giddy anticipation is balanced, however, by his fear of her gaze: "I'm hoping the smoke / Hides the shame I've got on my face." Deep down he fears that his self-annihilation will not restore his manhood, instead heaping shame on top of shame.