I love Kinnie Starr and I remember this a cappella track from her original Scrappy Bitch tour days (1996?) and her old "Learning 2 Cook" cassette tape. I love the rapid, almost aggressive rhythm of the words on at some points in this one.
This is one of those that I have memorized to bring forth at will for sharing with others or just to myself while walking, but I am always most struck by the following:
"And we can call it out when it doesn't suit us both,
'Cause there's a magnitude of choices and a really big boat, and that big boat floats on a restless ocean,
Singing about the chances of protective devotion..."
I have time and time again used these very words when advising someone about a relationship. The idea I take away from it is that a relationship that does not work for everyone involved does not work for anyone involved. It is okay to recognize when that is true and to tell each other and either change the relationship or allow it to end. One person suffering through a relationship for the sake of another is not healthy or necessary.
For me it is not about fleeing from any relationship as soon as issues come up, because I don't believe in that at all. I believe that the comfort of a relationship often makes a safe space for your own internal issues to arise, acting only as a catalyst to let you work on things that need the work whether with this person, another person or on your own. Running from the relationship whenever anything tough comes up can be very short sighted. Still, for me it is about recognizing and accepting when something that doesn't work for everyone involved needs to either change or end.
Also understanding that allowing something to end is not as much a tragedy as it usually seems. It is not some horrible moral failure. And there is a magnitude of choices on this big boat floating on a restless ocean. There is valuing in allowing each other to part and find other choices that may fit each of you. And there is virtue in remembering and treasuring the good parts, shared experiences and the friendship, even when you decide to end romantically. Remember that you were friends before and perhaps still can be is a truly valuable thing to strive for as an alternative to closed and locked doors or burned bridges.
I love Kinnie Starr and I remember this a cappella track from her original Scrappy Bitch tour days (1996?) and her old "Learning 2 Cook" cassette tape. I love the rapid, almost aggressive rhythm of the words on at some points in this one.
This is one of those that I have memorized to bring forth at will for sharing with others or just to myself while walking, but I am always most struck by the following: "And we can call it out when it doesn't suit us both, 'Cause there's a magnitude of choices and a really big boat, and that big boat floats on a restless ocean, Singing about the chances of protective devotion..."
I have time and time again used these very words when advising someone about a relationship. The idea I take away from it is that a relationship that does not work for everyone involved does not work for anyone involved. It is okay to recognize when that is true and to tell each other and either change the relationship or allow it to end. One person suffering through a relationship for the sake of another is not healthy or necessary.
For me it is not about fleeing from any relationship as soon as issues come up, because I don't believe in that at all. I believe that the comfort of a relationship often makes a safe space for your own internal issues to arise, acting only as a catalyst to let you work on things that need the work whether with this person, another person or on your own. Running from the relationship whenever anything tough comes up can be very short sighted. Still, for me it is about recognizing and accepting when something that doesn't work for everyone involved needs to either change or end.
Also understanding that allowing something to end is not as much a tragedy as it usually seems. It is not some horrible moral failure. And there is a magnitude of choices on this big boat floating on a restless ocean. There is valuing in allowing each other to part and find other choices that may fit each of you. And there is virtue in remembering and treasuring the good parts, shared experiences and the friendship, even when you decide to end romantically. Remember that you were friends before and perhaps still can be is a truly valuable thing to strive for as an alternative to closed and locked doors or burned bridges.