Roy's Keen

I think this is one of Morrissey's most under-rated songs, along with Maladjusted being an under-rated album. I also think it's one of his most explicit songs and has some utterly filthy references. The filth, however, is buried in innuendo, so much so that he even has the balls to insult the listener by saying at the end of the song that they're too stupid to see what the song is about ("Even when it's under your nose, Well you just can't see it, can you?").

As regards the character, Roy, I don't think there's any allusion to it being footballer Roy Keane. If anything I reckon it was one of those good-idea-at-the-time things, to make a play on the footballer's name. The key might be in that the character is "keen", as in willing to help, and that in chosing a name for the star of the song, our eager boy, he could have chosen anything. So why not the obvious: Roy? Thus supplying a layer of "Is this about Roy Keane?" intrigue.

The lyrics themselves, on the surface, depict a popular, charasmatic, flirtatious windowcleaner who is always at hand for his "service". Morrissey must have been amused enough by the 1974 film Confessions of A Window Cleaner to be influenced into writing this song. This is not surprising as he's know to have a strange fondness for the Carry On films of a similar ilk - cheeky, bad taste Bristish sex comedies of the 60s/70s.

The smut in the song uses - of all things - window cleaning as a metaphor for sex. "Up the ladder", "into each corner", "dunking the chamois" - all blatant, crude (and funny) penetration references. "He can hold a smile for as long as you require (even longer)" - Roy has the ability to sustain an erection until he's provided you with an orgasm - and he can keep on going after, such is his sexual prowess.

However, there are lines in the second half of the song which suggest Roy is not the gigilo the rest of the song makes him out to be. Again with the window cleaning euphemisms: "Don't say you'll hold it steady then you let it go" - Roy loses his erection or stops short before his client has climaxed, after promising to deliver the goods. "Foot in a bucket, we trust you to wreck it" - Roy's bedroom skills are not so finely honed after all as he turns off his client's desire with a clumsy manouver.

…And then Morrissey's accusation that the song is lost on the listener. Well, that's always been my interpretation of "Even when it's under your nose, Well you just can't see it, can you?", but it may be addressing Roy's seducees not having the wit to see that Roy's promises of carnal deliverence were never going to be delivered from such a rough and ready cheeky chappy.

All in all a total gem of a song. Such a shame that it was never regarded as so and that, in contrast, it has been critiscised as being one of his worse. He must have smiled to himself though when he heard it on the radio during its brief existance as a single. Not often "dunking the chamois" gets past the censors. Pure, filthy class.