I just read over my comments from December 30th and feel as though I need to clarify what I was trying to say. First of all regarding, "I don't want to be the one to say I'm sorry". I am afraid that I sounded defensive above. I mentioned that I was the one to apologize and take the blame, etc. Although an apology would be welcomed from him, it is not necessary. I have forgiven him for everything. No one did anything to purposely hurt anyone. I just wish he and I could talk about it all. I would happily take the blame, get raked over the coals, be thrown to the wolves... ANYTHING to protect him from harm. I truly "don't care how much it costs". I love this guy. Not PAST tense. I am guessing I always will.
Why do we fall in love with people we can't be with? It has never happened to me before. Eric Clapton was in love with Pattie Boyd (when she was married to George Harrison). They eventually wound up together and then had a volatile marriage. Now they are both married to different people. Who knows what the future will bring? And, although I want to put the pain of loving this man behind me, it isn't realistic. You can't just turn feelings off. Or flip a calendar to a new year and say, "Okay. All done with THAT." This person lives in my heart and takes up a hell of a lot of space. That is something that I am learning to live with. That is the process that I am trying to figure out.
I am thankful to have songs like "All Our Past Times". This song (and I love the live version the best) has helped me sort through some feelings. Music is priceless!
I just read over my comments from December 30th and feel as though I need to clarify what I was trying to say. First of all regarding, "I don't want to be the one to say I'm sorry". I am afraid that I sounded defensive above. I mentioned that I was the one to apologize and take the blame, etc. Although an apology would be welcomed from him, it is not necessary. I have forgiven him for everything. No one did anything to purposely hurt anyone. I just wish he and I could talk about it all. I would happily take the blame, get raked over the coals, be thrown to the wolves... ANYTHING to protect him from harm. I truly "don't care how much it costs". I love this guy. Not PAST tense. I am guessing I always will.
Why do we fall in love with people we can't be with? It has never happened to me before. Eric Clapton was in love with Pattie Boyd (when she was married to George Harrison). They eventually wound up together and then had a volatile marriage. Now they are both married to different people. Who knows what the future will bring? And, although I want to put the pain of loving this man behind me, it isn't realistic. You can't just turn feelings off. Or flip a calendar to a new year and say, "Okay. All done with THAT." This person lives in my heart and takes up a hell of a lot of space. That is something that I am learning to live with. That is the process that I am trying to figure out.
I am thankful to have songs like "All Our Past Times". This song (and I love the live version the best) has helped me sort through some feelings. Music is priceless!