The guy is dating an idealistic girl who is naive and is not yet exposed to the hardships of the world; she believes that sex is a sacred thing while the narrator disagrees, having already been corrupted solely by living. He, however, still thinks that her ideals are precious, like when little kids say something completely absurd and get away with it because of their cute naivete.
The narrator is usually busy with his music, but when he's free, he either pays prostitutes --complete strangers or just women he doesn't care about for sex because he is sadistic and can't stand to hurt the only one who believes in him. He is disappointed in this behavior but has accepted it, attempting to explain it in his music but recognizes that they are just excuses. The idealistic girl, however, doesn't understand what he is trying to communicate in his songs, and neither does anyone else, hence why he is an unpopular artist.
The narrator talks about how he may one day change and leave the hellhole of his life and achieve in his endeavors. He fantasizes about reaching success and spoiling the idealistic girl, the pitiful romantic who is so naive that he believes it is stupid. Even so, he cares deeply about this girl and she is completely infatuated with him despite his rugged personality. He is afraid of hurting her and realizes that he often comes close. She wants him to open up to her, but he is reluctant because he knows the extent of the pain his abusive personality will cause if released. He eventually gives in to his desires for her and they have sex, and afterward the fiery personality that he had been hiding from her comes out.
When she finally sees this side of him, this causes her hopes about the two of them to eventually disintegrate, and she also realizes that all that she had felt was infatuation caused by her ignorance of his true nature and her idealism. She starts to stop giving as much as she used to, and he then begins to try but can only communicate through sex and violence. He, after scaring her into a corner, realizes what he is doing and is again disappointed in his behavior and attempts to apologize by placating her with made up words to appeal to her love of adorable things, as he doesn't know what else to say.
In the chorus, he describes how the only outlet for him that she can somewhat understand is sex (as she doesn't get his music), and how she now fears him and tries to avoid him even while pretending that she's okay. The guilt causes him to hate himself for the role he believes he plays in other lives --the rust that weakens and destroys them. In a constant state of panic, he forces himself to pretend that she still cares but his attempts falter when he sees a hint of apathy in the once very hopeful and loving girl. He is emotionally alone and desperate, and feels haunted by the paranoia which causes his anger.
A part of him still wants to try to cater to her, or rather, aspire to do so (without ever actually doing it), but he then, after realizing that it no longer matters, degrades her in his mind as an attempt to calm himself down.
He later, in another attempt to ease his mind (also illustrating the civil war in his mind), resorts to telling himself that she is the best thing that has happened to him and blames sex for messing up their relationship, once again making excuses in his music.
In the very last line he says, "blow me out and I'll send you love poems in the form of smoke signals."
Smoke signals are used to signal danger from a far off distance, and what he means by this is that he wants her to leave him (but doesn't ever communicate it), and says that when she does, he will at last tragically show her his love after all this time by warning her to never come back to him.
The guy is dating an idealistic girl who is naive and is not yet exposed to the hardships of the world; she believes that sex is a sacred thing while the narrator disagrees, having already been corrupted solely by living. He, however, still thinks that her ideals are precious, like when little kids say something completely absurd and get away with it because of their cute naivete.
The narrator is usually busy with his music, but when he's free, he either pays prostitutes --complete strangers or just women he doesn't care about for sex because he is sadistic and can't stand to hurt the only one who believes in him. He is disappointed in this behavior but has accepted it, attempting to explain it in his music but recognizes that they are just excuses. The idealistic girl, however, doesn't understand what he is trying to communicate in his songs, and neither does anyone else, hence why he is an unpopular artist.
The narrator talks about how he may one day change and leave the hellhole of his life and achieve in his endeavors. He fantasizes about reaching success and spoiling the idealistic girl, the pitiful romantic who is so naive that he believes it is stupid. Even so, he cares deeply about this girl and she is completely infatuated with him despite his rugged personality. He is afraid of hurting her and realizes that he often comes close. She wants him to open up to her, but he is reluctant because he knows the extent of the pain his abusive personality will cause if released. He eventually gives in to his desires for her and they have sex, and afterward the fiery personality that he had been hiding from her comes out.
When she finally sees this side of him, this causes her hopes about the two of them to eventually disintegrate, and she also realizes that all that she had felt was infatuation caused by her ignorance of his true nature and her idealism. She starts to stop giving as much as she used to, and he then begins to try but can only communicate through sex and violence. He, after scaring her into a corner, realizes what he is doing and is again disappointed in his behavior and attempts to apologize by placating her with made up words to appeal to her love of adorable things, as he doesn't know what else to say.
In the chorus, he describes how the only outlet for him that she can somewhat understand is sex (as she doesn't get his music), and how she now fears him and tries to avoid him even while pretending that she's okay. The guilt causes him to hate himself for the role he believes he plays in other lives --the rust that weakens and destroys them. In a constant state of panic, he forces himself to pretend that she still cares but his attempts falter when he sees a hint of apathy in the once very hopeful and loving girl. He is emotionally alone and desperate, and feels haunted by the paranoia which causes his anger.
A part of him still wants to try to cater to her, or rather, aspire to do so (without ever actually doing it), but he then, after realizing that it no longer matters, degrades her in his mind as an attempt to calm himself down.
He later, in another attempt to ease his mind (also illustrating the civil war in his mind), resorts to telling himself that she is the best thing that has happened to him and blames sex for messing up their relationship, once again making excuses in his music.
In the very last line he says, "blow me out and I'll send you love poems in the form of smoke signals." Smoke signals are used to signal danger from a far off distance, and what he means by this is that he wants her to leave him (but doesn't ever communicate it), and says that when she does, he will at last tragically show her his love after all this time by warning her to never come back to him.