I Know

I'd like to add to my earlier comments. I've listened to this song so many more times, and it is beautiful, in it's own dark way. I'm still really surprised that there are people interpreting this song as a happy love song... and even MORE surprised that some are thinking that Fiona is the primary relationship, and is being cheated on. We must examine the lyrics AS A WHOLE, and not pull bits and pieces out of it that fit what we might like it to mean.

Here we go....

"So be it, I’m your crowbar If that’s what I am so far Until you get out of this mess"

A crowbar is something used to pry... she's his crowbar, and he's using her to pry himself, or try to, out of his main relationship (wife?). (But, there's another aspect. See the bottom.) The "so far" also implies that this has probably not been going on for that long, or that she's let it go on for too long. "Until you get out of this mess" refers to the love triangle... and she has the hope and probably expectation that he's going to pry ("crowbar") himself out of his main relationship. (But again, see bottom.)

"And I will pretend That I don’t know of your sins Until you are ready to confess "

These lines, I feel, are probably the only ones that could conceivably allow for an interpretation that the singer is the primary relationship and is the one being cheated on. But... has anyone reading this ever been cheated on? If you know someone's cheating on you, do you wait around until they confess? F@$k no!!! Most people would have to confront the cheater, immediately, and (probably) angrily.

So what do those three lines mean in a song about the singer being "the other woman," the affair, the one he's cheating WITH and not ON? They mean more with respect to what I bring up at the bottom, but...) my take: she's not going to make him talk about his dilemma until he has or is about to break off his primary relationship, and come to her (singer). Anyone who's ever been in a love triangle (this is where I'd raise my hand ;-) knows of the incredibly dangerous and powerful role that guilt plays in the psyche of the person doing the cheating and lying. The cheater and the lover generally avoid the topic of the cheater's sins. She's content with that, and will be, unless he brings it up... at least UNTIL he confesses, (leaves the main relationship, that is), and then they'll deal with any residual guilt or trust issues.

"But all the time, all the time I’ll know, I’ll know"

What "she'll know," or actually is trying to convince herself to know, is that he really loves her (the singer), or, at least, she so desperately needs to believe that it's so. LISTEN to the melancholy and doubt in her voice, especially in these lines. Is that a confident "I'll know." She's actually not so sure. It's painful... much too painful... which equals denial. This is also a place to make reference to the fact that, at the very end of the song, after the typical "don't need to say it" line, she DOES NOT say "I'll know." It's left out, intentionnaly, and the whole thing feels unresolved. She obviously does NOT "know" what she'd like to know and believe.

"And you can use my skin To bury secrets in And I will settle you down"

Another picture of her being used as his crowbar. He has anxiety over the situation. (He at least has SOME conscience, thankfully.) He's sharing secrets with the singer, discussing his dilemma, and possibly (as cheaters often do) falsely reassuring her that he's going to leave the primary relationship to be with her. He wouldn't be sharing secrets with the singer if that person were his main relationship, especially if, as is necessary under that interpretation, he has not yet "confessed" to the singer.

"And at my own suggestion, I will ask no questions While I do my thing in the background"

Again, she's not going to bring it up. Doing her thing in the "background"... this is not something a primary partner would do or settle for when she knows he's cheating. That interpretation, to me, is just incorrect. "Background" implies secondary. Foreground is primary. The singer wants to assume he's trying to take care of leaving his main relationship ("until you get out of this mess"), and she's waiting patiently for this to happen... BUT, she has enough doubts about this that she's afraid to ask, hence the "at my own suggestion I will ask no quations." She wants so badly to avoid the pain that will come when and if she accepts that it is NOT TRUE that he loves her most, and NOT TRUE that he will leave the main relationship.

"But all the time, all the time I’ll know, I’ll know"

Denial. She wants to mean those words. She needs to know. Listen to the way the line is sung. She does NOT know. It could even go a step further, and the "I'll know" means she knows he'll never leave his wife / girlfriend to be with her. Also, again, note the absence of "I'll know" at the very end. This has some interesting implications. (See the bottom!!)

"Baby-I can’t help you out, while she’s still around So for the time being, I’m being patient"

The singer is patiently waiting for him to leave the primary relationship. Again, these lyrics could make sense even with the interpretation that the singer is the one being cheated on... true... but again, in my experience, someone being cheated on doesn't wait patiently, so while that interpretation may fit some of the lines while they're looked at in small chunks, it just doesn't fit the TOTALITY of the lyrics.

"And amidst this bitterness If you’ll just consider this-even if it don’t make sense All the time-give it time"

Very vague. (Less vague if you... you guessed it... see the bottom!! ;-) The singer's bitter, feels used (as his crowbar), and is asking him to consider that he really does love her. (Because, remember, she wants to believe in his love for her enough that she'll sing "All this time, I'll know"), but this is the first explicit hint that she really is NOT sure.

"And when the crowd becomes your burden And you’ve early closed your curtains, I’ll wait by the backstage door While you try to find the lines to speak your mind And pry it open, hoping for an encore"

The most important and revealing lines in the song. She's sharing more and more of the painful truth as the story unfolds. Anyway, obviously, he's performing... juggling in a sense... and also must do some talking to his main girlfriend / wife, too. The singer is at the backstage door, waiting (again, a secondary role), so... who's the man's audience? Who's he performing for? It's his main relationship (girlfriend, wife?) and all the TONS of people and things that come with such a relationship. The lines he must try to find, the singer thinks, are the lines to end the primary relationship. But, here's the "bottom" I've been referring to.....

A new aspect arises, as a subtle confession by the singer, and illuminates and clarifies some of the earlier lyrics too. As he's "on stage," he's using the crowbar, the singer, to "pry open" his primary relationship, and.... "hoping for an encore"... ..... WHAT?..... whoa. We must now ask, is the "performer," the man, wanting actually to mend his primary relationship, i.e.,create the encore for the audience (the audience being, obviously, that main relationship.) The singer is slowly confronting her doubts about his love and his intentions to leave the main relationship, and is recognizing that she's been partially hopeful, partially delusional, and is starting to admit that he really DOES NOT love her. What "I'll know" means, then, is that she knows he doesn't really love her, but now, also, that he'll probably remain with or go back to, or wants to go back to, his main girlfriend / wife.

And now, some of the earlier lyrics make more sense, or have a richer, fuller, meaning. ("Amidst this bitterness," "even if it don't make sense, give it time," especially.) Especially reconsider "And I will pretend, That I don’t know of your sins, Until you are ready to confess." Is it that his SIN is that his true intentions are NOT to leave his primary relationship, despite what he's telling the singer? They both know of his primary sin (cheating), so there's nothing to confess there... but realizing this new aspect, and considering the singer's admitted bitterness, what he must "confess" is that he will not leave his wife / girlfriend for her. And the singer's avoiding acceptance of this, at least until his confession. Interesting. Makes the song even more brilliant.

"And if it gets too late, for me to wait For you to find you love me, and tell me so It’s ok, don’t need to say it. "

There's no "I'll know" here, where there normally would have been. She certainly no longer "knows" that he loves her, and by not saying the "I'll know" here, the singer indicates that she's having a lot of trouble accepting what she really DOES know, deep down, as the truth: he'll never leave the other woman for her.

This is not a happy love song. It's about a mess... a train-wreck of a relationship... TWO relationships... and a man who wants to continue having fun with the lover (use her skin, to bury secrets in....), telling the lover that they'll be together someday. Happy? Does the singer SOUND happy, or like someone who's having doubts and a lot of trouble accepting reality? And listen to the music; it is DARK, and almost even sounds like a funeral dirge or something. (Some chords and musical phrases are even nearly identical to those in Chopin's famous funeral march.) To me, it seems obvious that this is a type of funeral march... something is dying or has died... and that something is the singer's belief that he might actually love her and leave his relationship to be with her. There is a longing in her voice, even from the beginning of the song. She is hurt. She no longer knows, and, in listening to the first set of "I'll know" 's, probably never did.