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I think he's saying he'd rather know what's going on now because if it catches him off guard later, it will be that much more difficult. The tense changes at the end though so he seems to be saying it was too late and he was blindsided anyways.
I think he's saying he'd rather know what's going on now because if it catches him off guard later, it will be that much more difficult. The tense changes at the end though so he seems to be saying it was too late and he was blindsided anyways.