I think it's a mistake to assume that Robert Smith's lyrics are autobiographical. And it's also a mistake to assume that if they are autobiographical, that they should be interpreted literally.
With that said, I have a slightly different interpretation of this song.
A theme in many of Robert's songs is duplicity (e.g. "Disintegration", "From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea") and I find especially duplicitous the theme explored both in this song and in "Watching me Fall", in which the narrator is lured into sex with a prostitute.
The way I interpret this song is that the narrator is in a committed relationship with someone who entered his life, changed his world quickly, and to whom he gave himself fully, possibly too soon. Everything was wonderful, colorful at the start, but now that the initial feelings are fading, he is wondering if it was right. Are relationships always like this - all-consuming, stifling, limiting? He is having second thoughts about his choice. ("I chose an eternity of this / Like falling angels / The world disappeared / Laughing into the fire / Is it always like this? / Flesh and blood and the first kiss / The first colours / The first kiss.")
His questioning of their relationship leads him to infidelity in a most scandalous manner, either with a literal or metaphorical prostitute. This is his way of acting out his resentment and building hatred towards the person he is supposed to love; his way of dealing with being stuck in a bad relationship. ("We writhed under a red light / ... / In the morning I cried.")
Now that the act is done, the hatred begins to turn inward, and he is lost in a mire of guilt, hatred, and resentment. The "other" woman has tainted him - his last shred of innocence is now gone ("I walked away and grew old"). But back at home, he is met with unhappy silence from his partner. ("You never talk / We never smile / I scream / You're nothing / I don't need you any more / You're nothing"). I read the things he "screams" in the last line to be things he does not actually verbalize to his partner. He can't bring himself to actually face their failing relationship in any other manner, but his resentment towards her has built to the point where he is nearly mad. Existentially he comforts himself with the knowledge that it doesn't really matter if he's unhappy - we will all die anyway - but he still wonders, is this all there is or could be expected from life and love? ("Sing out loud / We all die!!! / Laughing into the fire... / Is it always like this?")
And he laughs to himself (into the metaphorical firestorm within him), for while he will never tell her, he has betrayed this woman who he both hates and loves, and with this he holds information that could destroy her in one swoop just as he feels she is destroying his soul with every day they pass together.
Knowing that Robert and Mary have been together since such an early age, I can see speculating that this stems from feelings he had about their relationship. Whether he truly acted out his feelings as the character in this song does we shall never know, but it is a beautiful work and some of the finest lyrics in his catalogue.
Thank you for a thoughtful statement. I think it is also is very influenced by the intensity of LSD shared with someone you are deeply in love with. 'Walls and Ceiling Moves in Time'. The whole Pornography album as deeply dark psychedelica.
Thank you for a thoughtful statement. I think it is also is very influenced by the intensity of LSD shared with someone you are deeply in love with. 'Walls and Ceiling Moves in Time'. The whole Pornography album as deeply dark psychedelica.
I think it's a mistake to assume that Robert Smith's lyrics are autobiographical. And it's also a mistake to assume that if they are autobiographical, that they should be interpreted literally.
With that said, I have a slightly different interpretation of this song.
A theme in many of Robert's songs is duplicity (e.g. "Disintegration", "From the Edge of the Deep Green Sea") and I find especially duplicitous the theme explored both in this song and in "Watching me Fall", in which the narrator is lured into sex with a prostitute.
The way I interpret this song is that the narrator is in a committed relationship with someone who entered his life, changed his world quickly, and to whom he gave himself fully, possibly too soon. Everything was wonderful, colorful at the start, but now that the initial feelings are fading, he is wondering if it was right. Are relationships always like this - all-consuming, stifling, limiting? He is having second thoughts about his choice. ("I chose an eternity of this / Like falling angels / The world disappeared / Laughing into the fire / Is it always like this? / Flesh and blood and the first kiss / The first colours / The first kiss.")
His questioning of their relationship leads him to infidelity in a most scandalous manner, either with a literal or metaphorical prostitute. This is his way of acting out his resentment and building hatred towards the person he is supposed to love; his way of dealing with being stuck in a bad relationship. ("We writhed under a red light / ... / In the morning I cried.")
Now that the act is done, the hatred begins to turn inward, and he is lost in a mire of guilt, hatred, and resentment. The "other" woman has tainted him - his last shred of innocence is now gone ("I walked away and grew old"). But back at home, he is met with unhappy silence from his partner. ("You never talk / We never smile / I scream / You're nothing / I don't need you any more / You're nothing"). I read the things he "screams" in the last line to be things he does not actually verbalize to his partner. He can't bring himself to actually face their failing relationship in any other manner, but his resentment towards her has built to the point where he is nearly mad. Existentially he comforts himself with the knowledge that it doesn't really matter if he's unhappy - we will all die anyway - but he still wonders, is this all there is or could be expected from life and love? ("Sing out loud / We all die!!! / Laughing into the fire... / Is it always like this?")
And he laughs to himself (into the metaphorical firestorm within him), for while he will never tell her, he has betrayed this woman who he both hates and loves, and with this he holds information that could destroy her in one swoop just as he feels she is destroying his soul with every day they pass together.
Knowing that Robert and Mary have been together since such an early age, I can see speculating that this stems from feelings he had about their relationship. Whether he truly acted out his feelings as the character in this song does we shall never know, but it is a beautiful work and some of the finest lyrics in his catalogue.
Thank you for a thoughtful statement. I think it is also is very influenced by the intensity of LSD shared with someone you are deeply in love with. 'Walls and Ceiling Moves in Time'. The whole Pornography album as deeply dark psychedelica.
Thank you for a thoughtful statement. I think it is also is very influenced by the intensity of LSD shared with someone you are deeply in love with. 'Walls and Ceiling Moves in Time'. The whole Pornography album as deeply dark psychedelica.