The narrator resorts to drugs and alcohol to dull the pain of someone who has left him, and has sunk so low that he doesn't even feel "the guilt and the shame" of it anymore. With no real solution in sight, he sullenly prays for death as a way out, while still calling out to his former lover in a pathetically oblivious way, asking "what did I do?" and not realizing that his substance abuse is the key component to his romantic (and legal) troubles.
The narrator resorts to drugs and alcohol to dull the pain of someone who has left him, and has sunk so low that he doesn't even feel "the guilt and the shame" of it anymore. With no real solution in sight, he sullenly prays for death as a way out, while still calling out to his former lover in a pathetically oblivious way, asking "what did I do?" and not realizing that his substance abuse is the key component to his romantic (and legal) troubles.