Maddening Disdain Lyrics

Lyric discussion by blueshirt12 

Cover art for Maddening Disdain lyrics by Arsis

The 'I' in the song appears to at the same time enjoy the pain left behind from a girl (either death or failed relationship) and also hates its presence because it reminds him (I'm assuming it's a him) of her in the first place. The pain - the disdain - is both pleasure and pain to him.